As a personal preference we would not meet anyone who was in a relationship but swinging on there own, we have nothing against anyone that does, It's your life.
We meet Bi Females for the fact that as a couple we both get pleasure out of it, it has nothing to do with the female only doing it for the male. Whereas if we were to meet a single male only where is the pleasure for the male half?
Well said by Lolly and Mindy. Its not our cup of tea either to meet single males regardless whether they are in a relationship or not, and if we every do decide to meet a single male then we would pick one that we have got to know (and there are them out there), and doesn't abuse people in the chatroom, either by words or trying to get people to do things on cam for them.
What i can say is that i've spoken many times with Doc, and he comes across as a genuine guy who respects others in the chatroom and never ask's anyone to preform for him when they are on cam. You are certainly one of the good guys Doc and i hope that you find someone soon.
Hello Doc,
well as a single fem on here with a partner at home i had to read and have my say on this.
1st i need to know if your wife knows u belong to this site and is happy for you to meet others for sexual fun. depending on this answer will depend on what i say...
but remember your profile starts of with
" HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY "
I'll wait for Your answer till i say more..
mwah
MO_XX
Yes there is enjoyment in that you are right, we have met some great single guys and will continue to do so, but there is nothing quite like being with another woman with my husband.
For us yes that does include single females, We would not meet [B]anyone[/B] that had a partner, whether the partner knows about it or not, As you say, the situation could easily be cheated.
Now let me think... did i join to please my partner... no blumin way !
We wanted to swing coz we hadn't done at that time we'd remained perfectly faithful for 15 yrs and thought we we're ready for an adventure that and we'll never knock anything we havent tried (apart from anal...
we do meet single males but would NEVER meet a person who was married male or female for the sole fact we spoke about this slot before hand and came up with ground rules, one of which was that we'd never do anything to make someone cry and in my interpretation of that i feel if i met someone's partner without them knowing... they'd cry.
I feel a rule that like as strict as that can be in some circumstances, gets a bit of a raw deal but for us, thats just how it is.
As you we're saying.. we all have our reasons and after speaking to you in chat so long i don'd doubt you for a second thats not what i'm saying.
Anyhow before i have a dizzy blonde fingered moment i'll leave you be xx
Happy huntinng and i hope that clears something up (not sure what!)
Speak to you in chat
xx kc xx :rainbow:
Post edited 02-08-2007 18:36
ok you have asked why some of us think it is wrong for married males or indeed married females to use this site, call themselves swingers, go to swing clubs, arrange meets on a swinging basis, well the reason is exactly that, we are swingers, we do NOT cheat of our partners, we do what we do with our partners consent.
If you want to cheat on your partner go to one of the hundreds of websites for that purpose ie Married and Cheating chatroom, very popular and based all over the world, (incidently swingers are banned from this chatroom as only those cheating on partners are allowed in it so if your a swinging couple and want to have a look at it pretend your a cheat)
We never understand why married males and females want to use swingers rooms when there are adequate facilities for them elsewhere on the net, would you use a gay room to find a woman ? or a lesbian room to find a man ? if not why use a swingers room to find people happy to cheat or play with those cheating ?
We think it is one of the things that brings the whole swinging lifestyle into disrepute and therefore would never play with a male or female who is cheating or for that matter a couple made up of cheating people.
As for the second point in this forum
"I sometimes feel there are dual standards at work: why is it there are so many people looking only for bi girls and bi guys , especially couples, yet very few are interested in single, older guys It's like it's OK if the man wants more fun but not necessarily the woman if you get my drift. Do women join just to please their partner?"
The answer to this seems obvious, it's purely down to mathematics and taste, many people become swingers because what they find a turn on is not available everywhere else, I am in a happy relationship but the one thing my partner cannot give me is the pleasure I get from playing with another woman, an older guy I can get (and have) easily, so bi men, bi women find the scene attractive for this very purpose, if couples want older guys they can find them anywhere, whereas 98% of women at clubs are bisexual, and go to a bi night at a club and find lots of bi guys.
Strong views.....but I have to disagree about using the websites you recommend. Perhaps what I'm looking for is not available in them, I might just enjoy watching a couple or group rather than just wanting to cheat on my partner.
Why do you feel that people such as myself bring swingers into disrepute? Everyone has choices in life and how they live their lives, spend their money, etc. Not all on this site are the same as yourselves and have the same opinion I'm pleased to say.
ok my two pence worth i feel.
brill thread not the usual thanks xxxx
right time for me to tell my story as to why im here .
hold on... good god i have mail......flipping heck. thought id been forgotten lol brb oo its like christmass ... bet its robbie w again god man leave me alone pleaseees
we have been married for 18 years very happily to. my hubs has MND and is turminally ill. this has its obviouse problems . i enjoy being physicall close to a man nothing like a hug im not so intrested in a shag for shags sake nor am i looking for a new husband rathe a freind that is understanding and able to help me mentaly through this awfull time.
my husband knows i see folk hes happy if im safe and happy.
SINGHLE MEN ARE FAB THE ONES IV TAKEN THE TIME TO BE BOTHERD TO GET TO KNOW. wernt husbands not single males b4 we married them?????
We think you missed a point there bibigtits, you say your married and have your husbands consent, therefore your not married and cheating your doing what you do with your partners consent or in other words doing what swingers do best.
Thats my whole point, though I would be quick to point out that it is our thoughts and we understand that not everyone feels like we do.
We think that Doc Martin is wrong to presume that the other sites (the married and cheating) sites are unsuitable, they offer everything that swing sites offer, company, social events, chatrooms, cam rooms, a place to organise meets for sex, in fact they offer a lot more facilities for social meeting than swing sites do as they believe that a lot of their members are missing the affection, hugs n kisses of relationships than the sex in them.
In the chatroom we will talk to those that are married and cheating without prejudice, ill feeling or any other attitude, they choose to do what they do in the same way we choose to do what we do, but if you open a thread and ask the question, expect some replies that don't agree with your own.
ohhhh this is getting HOT.. i think we should live and let live..every one is different and everyone has there idea of what is right and wrong...
its all about
AWARENESS- notice what is happening
CHOICE- there is always an option, choose carefully
DECISION-decide what you want
ACTION-nothing happens without action
mwah MO_XX
:P
mmmmm i seem to have missed the point ?
lolol
and as choise is upper most here can i chose a spank for not listening to the forum ?
dam it got me nail stuck in mt stockings so i can remove my pants for me spnk ,
bugger. :moon: :moon: :moon: :moon:
but yes seriously its choice and tolerance xxxxx
It would appear I opened a can of worms :O
I don't know about the sites you've mentioned, but you seem to know a lot about them. Maybe I AM on the wrong site through my ignorance. :-o
Still I have not pressurised anyone nor been offencive; I believed I would find what I was looking for on this site, unfortunately I may be wrong - but I love a challenge and enjoy chatting so I'll stay for now if that's OK.
So whatever your opinion thank you for giving me (and others I suspect) some good feed-back. I sincerely hope non of you have been mislead or lied to by single peeps you have met -- but there is always that very real possibility.
One observation I will make is that swingers are probably safer and more discreet than the marriage cheating sites. People in open relationships are more likelyto be careful about who they play with, which is one of my reasons for being here.
This is an excellent discussion, this is what the message boards are for, or at least some of the boards.
The question was asked
"I want to know if women are against meets with single guys like myself, and why when there is a legitimate reason for people joining the site for that reason."
For the most part the answer seems to be "live and let live" well not me, some things are important to me, swinging is one of them, I will not let a paeodophile "live and let live" just because I don't agree with his views but think he should have his right to them and neither would any of you nor will I be a hypocrit and say that some things are ok to allow and some things are not.
Yes the crime is not quite as bad, but where do you draw the line, the question is should people who are cheating on their partners be welcomed into the swinging scene, I think not, swingers have enough bigots to contend with without leaving ourselves open to the "it breaks up marriages" and "you steel husbands and wives".
The gentleman in question says he does it because his wife will not conform to his wishes, so he has to cheat on her, it is not for him a question of curbing his desires and conforming to what she wants.
He does not explain why he choosed to use swingers sites and the swinging lifestyle when there are other options available to him ie the married and cheating sites mentioned in earlier messages, he appears to just want our acceptance that what he is doing is ok because in his mind it is justified.
As swingers you should all know that the consent part of what we do is what makes it good. no lame exuses, we enjoy sex, we enjoy variety but we don't do it at our partners expense or that of our families.
If you partner, husband or wife is not interested in sex or cant preform for any reason and then gives the other person permission to find that else where it not cheating because the other half has given there consent to have sex with other people. Yes there is married people or people that have a partner that doesn't know that they are a member and take part in swinging activities then they are cheating on there other half. The thing with swinging sites is that people can have adult fun without the complications of a emotionly getting involved with someone else.
We have seen plenty of couple break up due to the swinging scene, and not all have been single. But to join and have sex with other people then there own relationship has to be strong. There is people when something is missing in there relationship turn to swinging to try and fix the problem, like others (non swingers) have children to try and fix it, as we all know this wont work. It is so important to have personnel rules and never break them, and to talk to each other. Without these then it wont work in the swinging scene.
You all must understand that people are on here for there own reasons. Some are here just to chat and go to socials, some just want sex, and some want to make friends and enjoy adult fun. What ever reason why someone is on here is there business, and i dont believe its up for discussion.
We welcome anyone to the site regardless there marital status and there reasons. We are all here to have fun, so come on everyone Docmartin only ask a question and there is people out there will understand his position and be happy to accomodate him.
You do find out through the chat who is cheating on there other halfs and people will stay away, but when you have there permission there here just like any other single person.
Quite right JD - DocMartin only asked a question, and of course he should expect that not everyone will give him answers he agrees with. (And I'm sure he expected that would be the case)
I can't help feel that some people are being a little over-agressive in their answers though. Kaynie says "For the most part the answer seems to be "live and let live" well not me..." What a shame. The vast majority of people on this site are very tolerant and fair-minded; it's what makes it a good site. She also asks "where do you draw the line?" Well, you seem very confident in where all your lines are drawn, and where other people should be drawing theirs too, so I guess you should be able to answer that question for yourself.
There is room on this site for all sorts of different people, with different backgrounds, and different reasons for being here. If Doc was going around meeting people without telling them about his marital situation, then I agree that that would be unacceptable behaviour because the other party would not have the chance to exercise their right to decline on moral grounds. However, he isn't - he's being honest and up-front about it. If both parties know the situation in advance and are all happy with it, then that is entirely up to them and no one else should take it upon themselves to judge either of them.
Of course we have our opinion, that is what we have been saying in all our posts to this thread and it is OUR opinion and we know that not everyone agrees with us, thank heavens for that, we have tried to be honest and helpful by adding our opinion to this thread, some will be against what Doc wants to do, some will be for it, at the end of the day it does not matter what anyone thinks, Doc must do what he feels most comfortable doing, that in essesence is swinging, doing what you do and feeling comfortable about it without offending others, Doc and his actions don't offend us, we know some people prefer to meet guys who are married and cheating as they believe there is less likelihood of these guys running around shouting about what happened and thats a fair train of thought.
Doc asked for opinions and we gave ours, that is what he wanted honest answers not patronising comments, if he didn't want honest answers he wouldn't have asked the question. When we see doc in the chatroom we always say hello, if he speaks to us we answer politely as we do with everyone else, we do not treat him in any way different to the way we treat anyone else, but he asked for opinions and we gave ours, if having our opinion has upset any of you then we are sorry. We also have a lot of respect for Doc for being honest about what he does and letting people make their own choice as to wether they want to be a part of it or not, it is not all negative.
Do we think Doc or anyone like him should leave the site or not be allowed in it, of course we don't, we don't agree with what he does but who are we to decide what others should do, him or others like him or those that want to play with him, an opinion is an opinion freely given at his request and nothing more.
And finally it is a good question, one that needed to be asked, thank you Doc for giving us and others a chance to comment, that is one of the good things about sites like this and forums, forums a place to air opinions.....
Well this has been a good debate, and some very strong views people have, thats what makes us ALL such interesting people.
I would like to say.. when I say "live and let live" i mean if Im not being hurt or my family and friends then let others do what they feel is right for them,when paeodophile was mentioned i feel that is a totally different thing, that is a very ill individual where one person, child which ever the case maybe has not given there consent. I have very strong views on this subject which would take forever to chat about, and not on a forum.
what Doc has been saying hes looking for and wanting to do, would be all consenting people, its a totally different thing.
Kaynie SAID ..the question is should people who are cheating on their partners be welcomed into the swinging scene, I think not, swingers have enough bigots to contend with without leaving ourselves open to the "it breaks up marriages" and "you steel husbands and wives".
Kaynie.. i am a little confused to what u have said here, as you say later on that u have nothing against Doc being here and you always talk to him.. yet i this bit above you are saying they shouldn't be welcomed in to the swing world...
I would be interested to know what you think to people who don't swing but have joined the site... do you feel they shouldn't be here as well?
MWAHH
MO_ XX
hi doc spoke to you in chat room few times you seem a nice guy. i am with kc on this one would never meet with guy who is married and on as a single guy, just doesnt seem right to me. anyway good luck. angie x
If you check my profile you will see that I have tried to be honest and explain why I am a member of this site. I gather that I am not the only person that is in a relationship where one partner has a much higher sex drive than the other (women included in this by the way - it's not all about men 
): this can cause a lot of disharmony and friction but both partners love each other to much to seperate. My wife has a very low sex drive and is not prepared to make any change: she wants to have her cake all to herself without sharing, keeping it under the cover until she feels like she wants a bite - and I'm expected to be happy with this, which I'm not but love her too much to leave. :cry:
I want to know if women are against meets with single guys like myself, and why when there is a legitimate reason for people joining the site for that reason. Please don't say 'visit a prostitute' as that's so lacking in understanding 
I sometimes feel there are dual standards at work: why is it there are so many people looking only for bi girls and bi guys , especially couples, yet very few are interested in single, older guys :-? It's like it's OK if the man wants more fun but not necessarily the woman if you get my drift. Do women join just to please their partner?
Perhaps you will be kind enough to give your opinion, and please keep it nice - I'm trying to get some real feed-back on this to help myself and others.
Thanks :clap: :D [B]
Post edited 02-08-2007 12:17 
we dont advertise that we want a single man to join us for the following reasons:
there are so many single men on site that we would be reading messages til midnight every night
certain single men on this site behave badly towards women and couples in the chat room - im sure you have seen this doc, they give the decent single men a bad name.
we were wary of single men who then said they were married when we first joined the site - but having met a few already and now that their reasons are genuine.
I think its about getting yourself known on the site and trying to go to big site meets - im sure doc that once people get to know you in person then they will view your reasons for being on here as we do.
good luck in finding the right couple or single fem for you
I am not out to hurt anyone,including myself, nor to find a new relationship. As I've said I love my wife but sometimes we have to do things covertly if we want to keep a relationship together. Governments do it to us all the time in order to protect us - what we don't know cannot hurt us as they say.
Keep the posts coming, it's a good debate I think.
eye: