Join the most popular community of British swingers now
Login
A question for the single members
Warming the Bed
I like this question and will find the replies very interesting.
If the guys take the trouble to reply and if they dare to be honest.
Casanova
[quote user=morkandmindy]If you found yourself in a relationship, with someone you loved, would you/could you carry on swinging as a couple? (obviously assuming they wanted to!)
[B]Could you watch someone you loved with someone else??[/B]
And yes, this question is loaded!
:devil: lol[/quote]
Yes I could and Yes I do, and have no problems with it what so ever.
Sarah
Think it depends on why you're swinging in the first place? If your out to have fun experiment, enjoy your life and live it the way you want with who you want, “without necessarily conforming to what polite society would consider normal” then yes as I assume you would be honest with the person you meet, as it makes up part of who and what you are? which you could assume attracted them to you in the first place
If your swinging to meet a partner (could think of better ways) settle down then sit at home darning socks and washing there clothes in the river “very little house on the prairie with a good moral message lol?”
Then get your sack cloth and knickers the size of a small African republic sit in the corner and rock
But as my ex lecturer would say “what would you know you're just a girl “wonder how his therapy is going :wank:
:lol: :lol:
Post edited 17-08-2007 20:58Mork and Mindy - funny, never had you guys down as trying to "catch out" single males before.
To attempt to answer the question, well - I don't know how anyone could give an accurate answer when they aren't currently in that situation. It's the sort of thing you can only assess if your circumstances change and place you in that position. Honesty doesn't come into it. I'm not quite sure what the question is driving at. If someone single finds themselves in a relationship, and then decides that they can't carry on swinging afterwards because they get jealous or because it simply doesn't appeal any more - is that a bad thing? Not necessarily - maybe they have become so in love with their new partner that all previous feelings about swinging have changed and they just can't do it anymore. I don't think that's automatically a bad thing, any more than the new couple being happy to swing as a couple would be a bad thing either.
Did I miss something in the question??
Suds
Post edited 18-08-2007 19:49
we have been married for 18 years and been talking about swinging for a long time. I have always wanted to watch wife with another man and recently we had a threesome with a local man. It was great fun and we both enjoyed it 
. The wife was very nerves and it took a long time for her to agree to swing but she surprize herself that she enjoyed it so much. It has give a real boost to us both and we cannot keep our hand off each other, so yes I can watch and loved it. We are know looking for a couple but find a straight couple is hard as wife is not bi. Its been great fun so far :)
. The wife was very nerves and it took a long time for her to agree to swing but she surprize herself that she enjoyed it so much. It has give a real boost to us both and we cannot keep our hand off each other, so yes I can watch and loved it. We are know looking for a couple but find a straight couple is hard as wife is not bi. Its been great fun so far :) Athough not single, we always thought it daft that some whispered chat-up lines will include the 'if you were mine I would not swap you and keep you for myself!'.
Does having a partner give you ownership of that person?...
Couples we know in this lifestyle are happy to share partners (whether turned on by it or not), male or female, as well as playing with others...
Take care, have fun, we do
Jel & N
xxx
[quote user=truescorpio](although judging from the number of couples looking exclusively for women it seems that there are no shortage of insecure men out there needing an ego rub).[/quote]
And no shortage of women in couples looking for another fem to satisfy a bi desire, knowing their cock needs are sorted... :lick:
Don't know about the ego rub, but horny??...YEP!!
OK im not sure i understand the Question right, must be all the welsh air and rain has gone to my head while away camping last week.
was this aimed at singles?
If so I am now single on the site, all tho do have a partner at home who no longer wants to swing. i love him very much a know it would hurt him if i was to swing alone so i don't as he is more important to me than the excitment that comes with swinging.. all tho i must say when we did swing together we BOTH enjoyed seeing each other with other people.
so I am just here now for the fun chat and great messages in the forums
Mwah
MO_XX
Mwah
MO_XX 
Sexlightened
Good question and difficult to answer.
So far I've had no luck in starting a true swinging lifestyle, though I would hope that will change given time.
Certainly if I do start meeting people and it were a fellow swinger who I fell for then, yes, I would be perfectly happy to continue the swinging lifestyle and hopefully meet other couples too.
If, however, it were someone outside of the swinging scene it would really all depend on how she felt about it. I believe in being honest and open with people and if something upsets someone you love then you need to find a resolve. To me that would mean if she was against the swinging scene I would have to stop it myself or one would not be truly in love with them
Warming the Bed
I think Sudsy has confirmed what many of us thing, the disrespect and misunderstanding the single male has of the swinging couple.
He says that if a single meets someone and loves them so much they cannot share is it a bad thing (words to that effect anyway)
When will these people realise that it takes pure love to not only watch your partner having sex with other people but to actually enjoy the experience in the knowledge that you are giving them fun and joy that others cannot experience or cannot allow thier partners to experience because they care more for their own jealous thoughts than they care for their partners needs.
The love that swinging partners have for each other is imense and I for one resent his comments that indicate he thinks swinging couples don't love each other very much in order to allow each other to do this.
That was what the initial question was all about, singles enjoy the pleasures swinging couples bring to them but would they be willing to give the same, I don't believe they can actually answer this question until they experience the level of love swingers have for each other and you have to be in a relationship to see that.
Those that cannot swing through jealousy do not have this level of love, they don't have the level of trust that swingers have, they have those silent self doubts or worry that their partner will run off with someone else, personally I prefer the levels of trust we swingers have.
What I also said, Kaynie (and what you have conveniently overlooked because it doesn't suit your point of view), was that I could equally imagine a couple getting together and STILL being happy to swing.
I said that I found the whole question confusing, because I couldn't really see what it was driving at. It is simply not possible for any single to know in advance how they will still feel about swinging if they fall in love with another person - that is what I said in my thread.
At no time did I say that swinging couples do not love each other - that would be complete nonsense. I'm sorry if you've somehow interpreted that as offensive, but it's nothing to the offence that I feel you've caused to singles (especially single males) ever since you joined this site, both in the chatroom and in the forums. I'm afraid to say that you are consistenly aggressive, rude, unhelpful and downright arrogant wherever singles are concerned. If you ask the majority of regulars on here, I would like to think that they will describe me as extremely respectful, considerate and helpful, and I think my profile comments back that up. What's more, I'm not the only single that that could apply to.
This site is a community, and I like to think I have invested a lot of time back into it by helping other people as well having the benefit of taking from it too. From what I've seen, that's not an epitaph you'll ever earn.
Warming the Bed
A quick run around this site Sudsy will show that contrary to your own beliefs, some of us are trying to help others by giving honest answers to questions and not trying to patronize the whole world. This is a swingers site, it is intended for swingers and there is nothing wrong with that.
God forbid anyone should say anything against a single person when your around.
You seem happy to make derogatory comments about anyone who makes a statement that is not in keeping with your own views. I believe Mork n Mindy would agree with me on this point.
You also seem to think I have something against single males on the site, hardly, I tried to get something against them and none of them were interested in meeting me, so be it, we each have our own tastes and I if I am not what the single males are looking for then, that's life and I live with it.
But how anyone can come to the forums and try to tell us that ALL single males on the site are great guys and all genuine amazes me, I think all comments against single males, single females or couples should be read with a simple rule in mind "if the cap fits ...... " there are lot's of really nice guys on the site, there are lot's of really genuine guys on the site, but there are lot's of timewasting idiots on the site too, these people be they couples or singles make it harder for the genuine couples and singles, some of them intimidate girls like me and are abusive to us, they make the site a place to avoid and perhaps even a dangerous place to be, So I am honest about them, I say it as I see it, I talk to everyone in the chatroom, say hello to as many as I can, and respect the genuine people.
By your own admission you didn't fully understand this question yet you saw fit to comment anyway rather than ask for clarification and your comment was that a single male may not wish to swing when he becomes part of a couple because he falls deeply in love with his partner, now I am not the worlds most intelligent person but to me that means that had he not been in love with her he could swing ie swingers are not really deeply in love with thier partners thats why they can allow other people to have sex with them. your comment "What I also said, Kaynie (and what you have conveniently overlooked because it doesn't suit your point of view), was that I could equally imagine a couple getting together and STILL being happy to swing."
totally confuses me since a couple are already together how can they get together again ?
At the end of the day these forums are a place to discuss all subjects, some subjects and replies will change your views, some will make them stronger and some will surprise you, none should be open to derogatory remarks for asking the questions because this is the reality this is what people out there are asking themselves and others so better to have it in the open were people can voice their own opinions.
It is always difficult to say exactly what you mean in print and is easier in verbal conversation, very few of us are writers by trade and sometimes all our comments can be taken in the wrong context, personally when I read the forums I try to bear this in mind. when I read your comments about swingers and love I also read the comments on your profile which tend to show that this comment was out of context with your thinking but felt that the way it comes across could be construed offencive to swinging couples.
Myself I like this site, I like the genuine people here, I just think it is a shame that genuine singles and couples are being dragged down by a large number of non genuine members.
[quote user=sudsy]What I also said, Kaynie (and what you have conveniently overlooked because it doesn't suit your point of view), was that I could equally imagine a couple getting together and STILL being happy to swing.
I said that I found the whole question confusing, because I couldn't really see what it was driving at. It is simply not possible for any single to know in advance how they will still feel about swinging if they fall in love with another person - that is what I said in my thread.
At no time did I say that swinging couples do not love each other - that would be complete nonsense. I'm sorry if you've somehow interpreted that as offensive, but it's nothing to the offence that I feel you've caused to singles (especially single males) ever since you joined this site, both in the chatroom and in the forums. I'm afraid to say that you are consistenly aggressive, rude, unhelpful and downright arrogant wherever singles are concerned. If you ask the majority of regulars on here, I would like to think that they will describe me as extremely respectful, considerate and helpful, and I think my profile comments back that up. What's more, I'm not the only single that that could apply to.
This site is a community, and I like to think I have invested a lot of time back into it by helping other people as well having the benefit of taking from it too. From what I've seen, that's not an epitaph you'll ever earn.[/quote]
[quote user=truescorpio]I can honestly say that if I was in a full, loving relationship wth a woman then I certainly wouldnt want to share her with anyone, male or female.[/quote]
So then what would your opinion be if your full, loving, partner sugested you both try swinging?
I'm enjoying this thread!!
[quote user=sudsy]
ever since you joined this site, both in the chatroom and in the forums. I'm afraid to say that you are consistenly aggressive, rude, unhelpful an downright arrogant wherever singles are concerned.
I HAVE Read what sudsy wrote in his posting and pasted part of it here...
Im sorry to say Kaylie but i must agree with him on some of this.. I've not had the pleasure to chat with you in chat yet, but since seeing you in the forums i must say you are coming across aggressive to a fair few threads.. there again i must also say its quiet hard to get your point across this way, so it may not be ment in this way.. maybe worth thinking about how u say stuff... after all this is ment to be a fun place to be...
mwah
MO_ X
Kaynie_&_Jed and Sudsy, Really didn't want to start an argument here!
Both of you are making extremely valid points.
Kaynie, I completely understand where you are coming from but think you may have read too much into Sudsys reply. We've been fortunate enough to meet him and he really is a genuinly nice guy.
To be honest I still can't put my finger on what i'm getting at in this thread, it certainly isn't a dig at single males though.
Okay - truce !!
Kaynie - it's true, getting points across in text only can be very problematic at times. God knows, I've made a number of cock-ups myself and cringed afterwards at what I'd written! If I've taken you too literally at times, then I apologise, and thank you for trying to explain more fully what you actually meant.
I agree totally, a lot of SMs on this site (and any other site!) are idiots, and they collectively give the rest of us a bad name. I think I've acknowledged that (I tried to !) and I certainly would never claim that all SMs are wonderful people (although that extends to SFs and couples too !)
I was just trying to kill the idea that we are ALL automatically rotten, because that view is so frustrating and restricting, especially when you ARE a single male ! :)
Suds
Kaynie - it's true, getting points across in text only can be very problematic at times. God knows, I've made a number of cock-ups myself and cringed afterwards at what I'd written! If I've taken you too literally at times, then I apologise, and thank you for trying to explain more fully what you actually meant.
I agree totally, a lot of SMs on this site (and any other site!) are idiots, and they collectively give the rest of us a bad name. I think I've acknowledged that (I tried to !) and I certainly would never claim that all SMs are wonderful people (although that extends to SFs and couples too !)
I was just trying to kill the idea that we are ALL automatically rotten, because that view is so frustrating and restricting, especially when you ARE a single male ! :)
Suds Warming the Bed
Sudsy and I have spoken and hopefully we are now on the same wavelength, I do have a problem getting my point across in the right context, I am a smiley person, bouncy, never sad, always smiling, when I chat to people in person it is easy to see my attitude and easy to see that anything I say is said in a light hearted manner hopefully helpfull in it's context.
That said I am also respectfull of swingers, we do not cheat on partners we do not put our relationships or those of others in jeapardy, we do what we do with each others consent, one of the reasons I honestly believe that we can do this is because of the love we have for each other.
I love to see my partner happy, he loves to see me happy, he knows how much I love him, I know how much he loves me, having sex with someone else is the same as buying a nice shirt for him and the same for me (though I prefer shoes) it gives us pleasure, we don't want to spend the rest of our lives with the shoes or shirts we buy, we want some different ones next week, Sex and Love are different, we love each other enough to know the difference is just a bit of fun.
Truescorpio says "I can honestly say that if I was in a full, loving relationship wth a woman then I certainly wouldnt want to share her with anyone, male or female".
Of course that is his choice but we see that as selfish, he would begrudge his partner bisexual fun, or hetrosexual fun because of his own self doubts or jealousy, thats how we see it, not everyone will agree but thats truly what swinging is about, people with different views, yet I have to ask the question....
If you were to meet us Truescorpio how do you see us, how do you see Jed in that he would be allowing me to have sex with you, I take it that you would not have any respect for his love for me or for his respect for himself, thats how it comes over to us ..... thats what this thread is for though all opinions
OK, time I put my contribution in for what it's worth - and apologies this is so late, but I've only just noticed and read the whole thread.
There is nothing more I would like than to have a partner I love and care for to be involved in the swinging scene with me. I would certainly have no gripes about seeing her being given pleasure by another guy or girl. It's not just about being selfless either - I know I am, and I always have been. But to be able to share that satisfaction I have with a regular partner is, sadly, still a dream.
Those of you who know me will know I have a partner who, whilst totally unwilling to swing (point blank) has absolutely no objection to my participation. After all, I have been doing this for 17 years now, and have been lucky enough to have two partners (not at the same time) that I have swung with as a couple. We have been together for almost 10 years now, and I was upfront with her from the start. She could have turned her back on me completely but, fortunately, made that choice not to.
Was I just born lucky? Maybe so, but I don't take advantage of anyone's feelings, so my participation here is...if you like, approved. But to answer the original question, then yes. A partner to swing with as a couple regularly, who I love, care for, and want to spend the rest of my life with, would have been an ideal and welcome option for me, but I am happy with the way things are at present, as is my partner. After all, she knows I go home to one person at the end of the day and it's not as if I'm going to leave her over a heavy affair, is it?
Apologies for the digression, but hope I have made a point.
Post edited 21-08-2007 22:57
[quote user=kaynie_and_jed]
If you were to meet us Truescorpio how do you see us, how do you see Jed in that he would be allowing me to have sex with you, I take it that you would not have any respect for his love for me or for his respect for himself, thats how it comes over to us ..... thats what this thread is for though all opinions[/quote]
Actually that's a brilliant question! Not just Truescorpio though, what is the single members opinion of swinging couples?? Do you have an explanation of why you think couples swing?
Dare I dip my toe into this thread again? Oh go on then .... 
Clearly I can't speak accurately for couples on this one, but my guess would be that:
1. You probably have to love each other
2. Ideally you would trust each other (that tends to go with point 1. above, but it's not a given)
3. One or both of you wants to expand their sexual experiences
In the vast majority of cases, I believe that all these points are true, and that couples are genuine, consensual, loving and trusting of each other.
However, you'll notice that I've allowed for some leeway in those points aboe - "probably" and "ideally" etc. That's because there are a number of profiles out there from couples who openly state that:
1. The pathetic man can't satisfy the woman, and she wants more, or
2. The woman wants to humiliate her man whilst he watches her have sex with other guys, or
3. The man wants to submit his wife to multi-way gangbangs (with wording that implies she's going to be used and abused)
etc. etc.
These are exceptions on the whole, I agree, but we can't pretend they don't exist.
Furthermore, numerous times I have chatted to the lady half of several couples, who have made it known that they would be happy to meet me alone without their partner's knowledge. This hasn't ever actually happened, but it does show that it's not just us singles who are capable of being disloyal (as a previous thread discussed).
I guess the conclusion must be that couples who swing are just like everybody else who swings. Some are loyal to each other, others less so. Some love each other, others have a more "open" relationship (although who's to say that still isn't love?).
Does any of this matter really? To be honest, I don't think it does very much in the end. (And that DOESN'T mean I don't consider love to be important). What I'm saying is that, as ever, it's a case of each to their own. As long as the people meeting are honest with each other (and despite what one or two people think of me, apparently, I have always been honest with every single person I've ever met) then that's OK. We live in a world full of varied people, with varied preferences and varied ideas of what is acceptable and what is not. As long as everyone knows their own boundaries and doesn't compromise them, we should all get along fine.
Suds
Post edited 23-08-2007 10:53
Clearly I can't speak accurately for couples on this one, but my guess would be that:
1. You probably have to love each other
2. Ideally you would trust each other (that tends to go with point 1. above, but it's not a given)
3. One or both of you wants to expand their sexual experiences
In the vast majority of cases, I believe that all these points are true, and that couples are genuine, consensual, loving and trusting of each other.
However, you'll notice that I've allowed for some leeway in those points aboe - "probably" and "ideally" etc. That's because there are a number of profiles out there from couples who openly state that:
1. The pathetic man can't satisfy the woman, and she wants more, or
2. The woman wants to humiliate her man whilst he watches her have sex with other guys, or
3. The man wants to submit his wife to multi-way gangbangs (with wording that implies she's going to be used and abused)
etc. etc.
These are exceptions on the whole, I agree, but we can't pretend they don't exist.
Furthermore, numerous times I have chatted to the lady half of several couples, who have made it known that they would be happy to meet me alone without their partner's knowledge. This hasn't ever actually happened, but it does show that it's not just us singles who are capable of being disloyal (as a previous thread discussed).
I guess the conclusion must be that couples who swing are just like everybody else who swings. Some are loyal to each other, others less so. Some love each other, others have a more "open" relationship (although who's to say that still isn't love?).
Does any of this matter really? To be honest, I don't think it does very much in the end. (And that DOESN'T mean I don't consider love to be important). What I'm saying is that, as ever, it's a case of each to their own. As long as the people meeting are honest with each other (and despite what one or two people think of me, apparently, I have always been honest with every single person I've ever met) then that's OK. We live in a world full of varied people, with varied preferences and varied ideas of what is acceptable and what is not. As long as everyone knows their own boundaries and doesn't compromise them, we should all get along fine.
Suds
Post edited 23-08-2007 10:53 Hi all
I've just seen this thread (mostly I just go in 'Lets meet up' -- hehe).
Ok, fair question. In fact I see three questions really:
Q1) Why do I swing as a single male
Q2) What do I think of swinging couples inviting me to join them for a short while
Q3) Would I stop completely if I met a woman outside the scene who I really liked.
A1) I swing as a single person because I am 100% single and have the opportunity to explore new relationships and new experiences. I've had a number of longer term rels the last of which ended Jan06 (we seemed to be arguing about trivial stuff and it was time to stop..)
I really like the excitement of the lifestyle -- both the anticipation of a potential connection (eg the fun in the chat room -- 'Hi -- lovely pics -- where are you from' -- although those who know me know that I've never used that line ...) -- right thru to the actual meet where the excitement level during those first few moments is off the scale..
The sexxy encounters I've enjoyed have been without equal and I like to think I've made some great connections with people on the site - both single fems and couples -- and yes single males as mates..
Am I only concerned with the 'intimate physical' side of swinging - no, not at all. I can say that from everyone I've met I've learnt something about their lives - and shared some great ideas about life in general - and for me thats a very significant part of the meets.
I make the claim that I am what it says on the tin -- and I'm completely happy to be judged by my peers about whether this is true..
A2) Swinging couple are in my experience some of the most open people in the known universe. Almost without exception it is clear that they have a very strong bond. I often see my role as being the spice to an already successful relationship. I'm there as the catalyst for new ideas and the exploration of new fantasies. Works for me. There have been many times when I see the passion rising for the two of them and thats my cue to sit back for a while..
Some of the mails I've had back from lovely couples I've met tell me that I've fired them up to intense levels of love making afterwards when they're on their own. Well great.. I don't want to interrupt that -- and I respect what they've chosen. It's a privilege for me to share some time with them.
A3) Would I give up swinging if I met a lovely woman outside the scene - yes - definately. It would be a matter of respect for that person. Companionship and trust rely on openness and honesty. And I claim each of those as traits. There's no secret amongst my mates in town here about what lifestyle I've currently chosen - and no secrets when I'm on a meet. I don't do lists or numbers or name names -- discretion is my middle name -- but if there's a lovely comment on my profile from a sexxy meet then it does seem ok to make mention of it.. not the intimate details of course.. but that fact that we've met and had a lovely time and maybe also that I've been invited back..
A subsidiary question might be - would I tell a new non-swinging partner that I'd been in the lifestyle... -- in fact yes I would -- in quite a general way (perhaps kite flying ) -- and in response to a specific question yes certainly much more of the story.
Did I understand the question right Mindy ??? xxx
John
xx
) -- and in response to a specific question yes certainly much more of the story.
Did I understand the question right Mindy ??? xxx
John
xx 