We all have our little isecurities, fears and doubts from time to time in everyday life, but do these matters have any place when it comes to swinging?. As a couple ourselves this is mainly about couples, so lets take a scenario ... Lets say the female half wants to swing with other guys and the male half wants to swing with other girls, but his partner is insecure about this and reacts accordingly with paranoia and doubt. The male half wants to please his partner but feels pressured into letting her have the fun while he gets very little or none. Now obviously this happen the other way around too, perhaps more so, but either way is it right and is trouble brewing later on?. We have been lucky enough to meet couples who just like us are totally secure with each other, but we know there are those that are not... so what do you peeps out there think?.
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Insecurity ... any place in swinging?
Sex God
sexy 40......
me and markie hav stopped swingin for abit....chek both profiles....we hav put not meetin at the mo!!
reason.....markie luvs watchin me wiv guys, he gets quite a kick outta it.....but i absolutley hate him playin wiv girlies.....and it did start to mess up our relationship, and i nearly chopped his bollox off.....hence we decided to take a break from it all!!
we r still doin the socials but jus not playin at the mo....and to be honest since this decision as bin made, our relationship is a lot stronger!!
swingin as bin a big part of my life for a yr now but im foooooked if im gonna lose the man of my dreams!!
i dunno wot others think....afta readin this, no1 will talk to me agen in the chatroom......lolololol
funky nutta xx
off to see sum fireworks......xxx
Sexpert
[color="olive"]We've found that those insecurities lead to problems, we would never feel comfortable with a couple that didn't both feel completely sure about what they were doing.[/color]
Very good topic Serens as I have often wondered how it all works from a couple's perspective. Especially as being on here as a single girl I really only need to think about myself and what I want out of swinging.
I am not sure though if couples who do have these insecurities (and I am sure there are many) would be comfortable in discussing them.
Or then again, maybe there are also couples out there who have run into this problem and have managed to deal with it so both parties are comfortable, happy and possibly have come to a compromise or solution as to how they can both get out of swinging what they so desire.
[quote user=funkydiva35]sexy 40......
me and markie hav stopped swingin for abit....chek both profiles....we hav put not meetin at the mo!!
reason.....markie luvs watchin me wiv guys, he gets quite a kick outta it.....but i absolutley hate him playin wiv girlies.....and it did start to mess up our relationship, and i nearly chopped his bollox off.....hence we decided to take a break from it all!!
we r still doin the socials but jus not playin at the mo....and to be honest since this decision as bin made, our relationship is a lot stronger!!
swingin as bin a big part of my life for a yr now but im foooooked if im gonna lose the man of my dreams!!
i dunno wot others think....afta readin this, no1 will talk to me agen in the chatroom......lolololol
funky nutta xx
off to see sum fireworks......xxx[/quote] I think that's very honest of you babes and no I wasn't referring to you lol. I'll always talk to you hun you know that xxxxx
Warming the Bed
[quote user=Sid_n_Nancy][color="olive"]We've found that those insecurities lead to problems, we would never feel comfortable with a couple that didn't both feel completely sure about what they were doing.[/color][/quote]
Deffo agree guys! Dont understand it tbh, should be something you both can enjoy, not one partner sat twiddling thumbs.... xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sexpert
[color="olive"][quote user=funkydiva35] i dunno wot others think....afta readin this, no1 will talk to me agen in the chatroom......lolololol [/quote]
But you guys have a strong enough relationship that you've actually been able to talk about it and resolve it. The ones that aren't honest with each other and carry on in silence or disregard for their partners feelings are the ones that, [i]in our own humble opinion[/i], shouldn't be doing this.
Course no one's going to stop talking to you Funkys :love:[/color]
Sex God
sexy 40 i kno u wasnt referrin to me....cus no1 knew that this was my decision......
i luv u guys....u all kno that.....xxx
thanx for understandin...:inlove:
Orgasminator
I think there will always be a few insecurities on one side or another, and being honest and open is the only way... Daz and I talk about every meet, before and after, infact after we talk it to death. But it has meant that silly mistakes we made in the beginning wont be repeated, and hopefully we wont encounter any more.
We have found it very difficult to find compatible couples, as its 2 people having to like and want to play with 2 people. Four different opinions and the possibility of 4 differnt sets of insecurities.
I have had some insecurities, and probably always will but thats just me, I dont like people driving my car either lol
Talk, talk and talk some more is our philosophy and if other people don't like your boundaries and your wants/needs then dont meet them
Funky, Admire your honesty and if ever swinging started to screw with our relationship, you wouldnt see me for dust, I agree that when you find the man of your dreams, you do whatever you need to do, to keep them! Good on ya girl!!!
:inlove:There is no room for insecurities in this game full stop.
If Mr C was unhappy with any situation... then I would notice and stop it and vice versa.
Luckily, it's not happened to us too often within our swinging career lol. Let's just say we're so in tune with eachother that we know instantly if something is not quite right with a meet and it's experience over the years which has led us to be cautious and not rush into meets.
We will never understand how couples on this site could do anything or continue with anything knowing their other half is unhappy. Have even seen couples come onto this site to try and spice their relationships up because they were already failing..... needless to say they never last long as a couple on here.
Funky hun we've chatted a great deal about your situation over the past months, so please don't we're having a pop at you hun. You are so doing the right thing. We all know you two are perfect together. :inlove:
Swinging is and has been a lifestyle for us for 3 years now. And we both know we'll never leave for as long as we're able to have fun and make new friends in the process then we will do. Or of course, until one of us says 'I've had enough'.
mwahxxxxxxxxxx ceylons :love:
Hi sexy serens,good thread hun,and no there is no place for insecurities in this scene,it will always lead to trouble in the relationship,we have a very solid relationship and can talk about anything,but have chatted to peeps on here and as soon as they said the word jealousy we were out of there quick smart as it is nothing but trouble,but as a couple you know when one of you are uncomfortable without having to say anything,well we do,take care,love the bays xxxxxxx
Well thanks everyone, many interesting points there, the general consensus seeming to be if you have insecurities, you could be heading for trouble!! ... We had someone throw a hissy fit in the chatroom once over a jokey comment that some guy made... so we thought oh dear avoid them then lol ... strange thing is though, despite avoiding them the person still has to do the sarcasm thing in the chatroom ... are we bothered? lol no it's amusing but insecurities make people do the strangest things ... you have been warned :grin:
