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holysion
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 36
0 miles · Greater London
Forum
The conversation has diverged a little bit, but to answer the first question, yeah its wrong, because people are deeply hurt by it. I am sure if it was the other way around it may be hurtful too.
On the issue of lying in profiles. Well one issue is no pic, I understand that because I have done some dumb stuff on and regret it so now my rule is stay as anon as possible until to trust that person.
The other issue is old pics, I cannot vouch for that, but the person who mentioned the pic of a young man, when in reality he was old and balding that was funny! However men do keep this image in their heads that they are always handsome no matter how much much they age, we are lucky compared to women 
Story of this girl I can't get over 
I used to work with her, I fancied her at work for a good 5 months and waited until the Christmas party to ask her out.
It was nice, she told me she had recently split up with a guy, and then I explained I was in a similar situation. we danced that whole night together and we shared a cab home. I never pressed to spend the night with her. We agreed to meet the following week end.
We had great date and we got to know each other. We were holding hands back to her apartment and then she stated telling me about her ex. Now this is were it gets complicated. She said how he was much older than her(50s and shes in her mid 20's like me). She explained how he is still married but promised to leave his wife for her. But he never did. they broke up but she still said she had feelings for him (he said the same (*rolleyes*)), even though it was obvious he was using her. Greedy. Just wanted a young body, while also having the security and status of an older wife. She genuinely believed it was love, but if it was why would he not leave his wife for her?
In the middle of all this got frustrated I kissed her, then we spent the next 2 hours passionately kissing in the freezing cold. It was amazing. Again I declined the opportunity to sleep with her. I know this sounds nuts of a swinging site but sex isn't everything is a relationship, I just really enjoyed her company. And we were now in some kind of relationship so it wasn't like it was never going to happen, I was ok with being patient. The next three days she called me every night before bed just to speak the rubbish people in new relationships do. On the 4th night she text me saying she met with this guy and that she told him about me and it made her too sad, and she had to leave me. But she was going to never see him again either.
So I said ok, you can have space.
Then a few weeks later when we met its really awkward. We flirted but I just don't have my usual confidence around her whereby I wouldn't care and just throw myself into a kiss. I said to her I can't do this anymore, that I like her too much to be just friends and I wished her the best in the future but I don't want to speak with her anymore (this was a love letter / good bye your the most amazing women even but my hearts too broken to deal with this!).
Months after that she text me ask me how I am ect and we meet again. Its still the same thing, I want to be with her so much, and in my mind I believe she wants to be with me. But just won't let me because of some loser who has convinced her being a mistress is true love.
I just hurts when I think about it. I don't want to be a fool for someone who is a fool for someone else.
Please I know I am new but talk some sense into me!
-ALL other advice is welcome.
HS
I used to work with her, I fancied her at work for a good 5 months and waited until the Christmas party to ask her out.
It was nice, she told me she had recently split up with a guy, and then I explained I was in a similar situation. we danced that whole night together and we shared a cab home. I never pressed to spend the night with her. We agreed to meet the following week end.
We had great date and we got to know each other. We were holding hands back to her apartment and then she stated telling me about her ex. Now this is were it gets complicated. She said how he was much older than her(50s and shes in her mid 20's like me). She explained how he is still married but promised to leave his wife for her. But he never did. they broke up but she still said she had feelings for him (he said the same (*rolleyes*)), even though it was obvious he was using her. Greedy. Just wanted a young body, while also having the security and status of an older wife. She genuinely believed it was love, but if it was why would he not leave his wife for her?
In the middle of all this got frustrated I kissed her, then we spent the next 2 hours passionately kissing in the freezing cold. It was amazing. Again I declined the opportunity to sleep with her. I know this sounds nuts of a swinging site but sex isn't everything is a relationship, I just really enjoyed her company. And we were now in some kind of relationship so it wasn't like it was never going to happen, I was ok with being patient. The next three days she called me every night before bed just to speak the rubbish people in new relationships do. On the 4th night she text me saying she met with this guy and that she told him about me and it made her too sad, and she had to leave me. But she was going to never see him again either.
So I said ok, you can have space.
Then a few weeks later when we met its really awkward. We flirted but I just don't have my usual confidence around her whereby I wouldn't care and just throw myself into a kiss. I said to her I can't do this anymore, that I like her too much to be just friends and I wished her the best in the future but I don't want to speak with her anymore (this was a love letter / good bye your the most amazing women even but my hearts too broken to deal with this!).
Months after that she text me ask me how I am ect and we meet again. Its still the same thing, I want to be with her so much, and in my mind I believe she wants to be with me. But just won't let me because of some loser who has convinced her being a mistress is true love.
I just hurts when I think about it. I don't want to be a fool for someone who is a fool for someone else.
Please I know I am new but talk some sense into me!
-ALL other advice is welcome.
HS That's pretty harsh, but its more than just cyber bullying, because if they were the mods they would have greater knowledge of your identity. So its just real bullying that seems to stem from jealousy.
Don't worry about its just human nature people abuse their power all the time. Just have to know when to fight the right battles and when its better to walk away.
