:D :D
But to more pertinent matters ........ have you entered the competition yet babe ? - time is running out !!!! lol xxxxx Join the most popular community of British swingers now
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fun4u2me2
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 49
0 miles · Greater Manchester
Forum
Sexpert
Dave ... did i detect a hint of sarcasm in ur voice !!! lol xxxxx
Well i walk the walk a lot better than i talk the talk ..... but then again Dave as my good old wise Daddy used to tell me .... ' Son, some people are born with shovels , and some are born with guns ' .......
So you had better start digging Dave !!! hehehhehehe ....... meow fun !!!
Have fun y'all xxxxxx
Sexpert
Well it may surprise some of you guys ..... but shy little old me has experienced this kind of fun ..... and very erotic it is too indeed !!
Its a strange sensation being completely sensory deprived and unable to do anything about it .... but to have all the pleasure centred on a very sensitive part of your anatomy ... and i don't mean that spot on the back of your knee !!
Unfortunately Wily .... i experienced it in Australia where i used to work in a porn shop that had them ... and it made a very pleasent surprise for me on one night shift !! hehehehe ..... bladdy long way for you guys to go to find one - but just in case - its Erotica, Kings Cross, Sydney, Austrailia - if its stil there too ... it was 1997 !!!
Sure there are some pervs closer to home who know where there is one too tho.
So i suppose all i said counts for very little now ..... but hey ho .... i get that a LOT !!! hehe
Have fun xxxxxx
Sexpert
Hey Jemima,
FAB looking profile babe .... and good to hear you are completely mental too ..... its all relative i find too tho .... but you are in good company on here !!
There are some fab peeps on here who i am sure would be willing to help you out - ME INCLUDED !!! - hint hint !! hehehe
I see lots of peeps and i am sure you would be welcome to join me with any of them .... but private parties are cool and a great way to meet others and have fun .... or in a club. Feel free to give me a shout - esp as i am down south this coming week !! - and i hope you have fun !!!
Happy swinging xxxxx
I see lots of peeps and i am sure you would be welcome to join me with any of them .... but private parties are cool and a great way to meet others and have fun .... or in a club. Feel free to give me a shout - esp as i am down south this coming week !! - and i hope you have fun !!!
Happy swinging xxxxx Sexpert
Hey Ian .... i posted a thread a little while ago that was considered controversial and it was removed in 5 mins flat as you know ..... bag o knackers !!
Well we will see if this one lasts ...... and for all those bladdy footie fans .... did you REALLY think England were going to win anyway !!!! hehehehehe
Sexpert
Mr Fun's lawyers would like to make it perfectly clear than Mr Fun esq can be held in no way responsible for anyone attempting to recreate the sexual gymnastics and antics that Mr Fun participates in for the illicit sexual pleasures of other fantastic members.
We find his actions in no way liabilous or fraundulant, and he does come with public indeminity insurance for all involved in these solatious preceedings - for those brave enought to anyway ........
He would just like to thanks all involved in the making of this profile and to note that no animals were hurt in the making of it too...... altho D4, of delectable_dee and iankmf, almost got sat on at one point they feel asleep together later on said sofa and remain friends to this day. As for Dee herself .... her batty was only sore for a few days later !!! lol xxxxx
Applications for training and potential enjoyment should be directed thro Mr Fun's own personal profile mailbox as fun4u2me2 at this site ya numpties !!! lol xxxx
Have fun y'all xxxxxxx
Have fun y'all xxxxxxx Sexpert
[quote user=meli]we think you should %^(*&^ or maybe %((*&^(* if that dosn`t work i dont no what will :D :D[/QUOTE
Well Meli ...... if that is the best offer i am gonna get after flirting on this board for the last 3 mths ....... i'll take it !!!! lol xxxxx.... although i have had a few offers from here ..... hehe xxxxxxx
:D :D[/QUOTE
Well Meli ...... if that is the best offer i am gonna get after flirting on this board for the last 3 mths ....... i'll take it !!!! lol xxxxx.... although i have had a few offers from here ..... hehe xxxxxxx Sexpert
Hey Cat,
Thanks for yor words and keeping the faith mate ..... it is what seperates us genuine single male swingers from the throbbers who are just looking to perv and the possibility of a quick shag !!
I flatter myself in being able to spot a fake profile from a 1000 yards now ..... but its amazing the amount of peeps who get all giddy over them ...... and quelle surprise ..... its usually single guys getting giddy over single guys posting fake profiles etc !! lol xxxxx
This room pretty much rely's on its genuine members to keep others informed and i find it works well in the main .... but the verification process is even being abused a tad too ..... it should only be used when peeps have actually met each other etc ..... not just seeing peeps on cam , chatting etc, but i think most peeps on here know who is genuine or not.
There is ALWAYS going to be those sad feckers who have nothing better to do with their time and being socially inept so therefore want to spoil it for the genuine peeps.
Another quick point want to make is the following too. I respect anyone for their choices and i can hardly blame cpls for not wanting to see most single guys .... as most single guys are dicks .... but we aren't all. I would never bother a cpl who don't want to see single guys, as genuine swingers are NEVER pushy peeps, but i do object like Cat does to being tarred with the same brush as most of the mongs !!! hahaha
Well at the end of the day i like to think genuine peeps can spot other genuine guys and its the only reason i have met as many lovely peeps as i have thro this site. We are never going to get rid of the single guy stigma and i am not going to beat it to death ....... only do my best to redress it single handedly !!!! pmsl xxxxxxxxxxxx
Have fun peeps and happy swinging !!! xxxxxx
Sexpert
Well.... its interesting to see what people have to say on this subject.
The establishing making genuine member and feedback scheme came from myself and Booby69 as it was in use on another site we used and it works very effectively if used correctly.
You will notice a few people, myself included, were made genuine by admin in the first place and the system isn't designed to be elitist but to help this site and room police itself in some respects as it would be too big a job for admin to monitor 24 hrs a day and the best peeps to do it are usually the peeps using the site.
Well, like most things in this site, it became a bit of a competition... anyone remember star swingers ??!! lol xxxx... and some genuine members were making other members genuine without even meeting them which kind of defeats the purpose of the exercise.
There is never going to be a perfect system but feedback and being genuine is just designed to give people and idea of who you are, what you are like and that you actually meet and turn up etc... its not Gospel. I don't just meet members myself who i see are established but it gives me confidence if they are, but as i tend to get to know ANYONE pretty well before i meet it just serves as a indicator.
A lot of people in the chat room see a fabulous profile and think ' wow ' and dive straight in .... but as you can see from a few recent posts in the forum ..... all profiles are not always what they seem and there are a lot of fakers, bullshitters and time wasters... so i suppose the moral of the story is ... you don't REALLY know anyone until you have met them yourself. Take the time to get to know them, its one of the reasons why i have NEVER had a bad meet.
Post edited 02-03-2006 15:08
Sexpert
As having the distinct pleasure of having met this lovely cpl on a few occassions now ...... i can confirm they are totally mad !! ..... and completely lovely and nutty... as i once told them they are a cpl who are like a riddle, inside a conundrum, wrapped in an enigma ( altho dee did ask why she they were wrapped in a medicine inserted up ur backside !! lol )
Their video antics aren't just limited to webcam..... they press ganged me into making a vidoe with them and i just hope it never see's the light of day ..... as it would make a fortune !!! lol xxx. So be warned, if you ever get the chance to meet these nutters ..... take plenty of tapes with you !!
Love the nutters to bits .... and you can't teach what they are !!! xxxxxx
Sexpert
RWB..... i think they were really in this thread..... but take a look at some of their comments in other threads !!
I am not badmouthing Jeln because they have always been nice, approachable and chatty with me, as i am sure they can tell i am one of the few genuine guys on the site, but they do seem to have been leaving either patronising or belittling messages on quite a few, admitidly pathetic and flipant, single male threads. I am sure they are entitled to their opinion..... but why feel inclined to leave it on so many single guy threads ?
AAhhhhh well......... it takes allsorts. I just hope we can all have fun xx
Sexpert
Well said lean muscle......
I have to say that i have noticed an occuring theme with a lot of jel's posts and i am afraid that swinging cat is following suit .... without bad mouthing either of these people.
I know there are FAR too many pushy, obnoxious and disrespectful single guys on this site but it doesn't give everyone cart blanche to have a dig at every comment left on these boards. I am the first person to try and keep this site a nice place for nice, genuine like minded people and we are all here for roughly the same reason at the end of the day. There are some genuinely nice guys on here too and i thnik a lot of cpls don't consider that they were all singles once upon a time too - GENUINE swinging single guys will not bother cpls / singles who aren't looking for single guys.
I do realise a lot of guys just don't get the whole ethos of swinging and simply put ' i fancy a fuck , mail me ' etc but they are victims of their own ineptitue and quickly lose any hope when they have no success.... the best way to handle it is to leave them to their own devices rather than abusing them openly in the forums.... even if you think you are doing them a favour by pointing out the error of their ways.... its not benevolent behaviour but sarcasm thinly disguised.
This site will never be all things to all people i realise that but its somewhere where i hope we can all have fun xxxxxx
Sexpert
Hey Matt,
Good on you buddy !! I hate rude and disrespectful people too - its just unfortunate it happens to be single guys too and it gives the nice guys a bad name.
Its also unfortunate that in trying to help people sometimes you will also be seen as interfering by some small minded individuals ..... which leaves you thinking ' why do i bother ? ' etc plus its easier to just say nothing.
Well i have always been a bit of a bastian to help to try and keep this room full of nice people and to look out for people but a recent development has made me a tad more wary in the room.... and altho it goes against evrything i stand for .... i think in future i will be standing by and letting people make their own mistakes in future and letting them get on with it and learn the hard way. I always thought it was better to learn thro others peoples mistakes but i must have been mistaken ..... well wise people learn thro others peoples mistakes..... i will just let the rest learn for themselves !! lol xxx
I am a honest, upfront person and i expect the same in return but i suppose its unrealistic to expect that returned with some people.... especially if they have something to hide etc. As cop said .... its always better to just report abuse and let admin deal with it as getting involved yourself usually leads to more grief than it is worth.
Not too worry tho Matt as i am sure you will always try to be on good terms with as many people as possible while knowing we can't all get on with everyone.
Keep the faith mate and have fun !!! lol xxxxxxx
Post edited 27-02-2006 13:43
Post edited 27-02-2006 13:46
Post edited 27-02-2006 13:47
Sexpert
God damn !! - so close yet so far ........... lol xxxxx
As soon as i get a sexy fem in tow guys i'll get back to you - but then again i'll be doing that with a ' few ' other cpls on here too !!
You should have no problems finding someone tho guys - there are LOTS of lovely cpls on here - good luck xxxxxxx 
Sexpert
After a OVERWHELMING response we have finally picked a winner from our buldging postbag !!
1st place went to Babara Cartland, who is so old that when she farts she farts dust !! and she is unfortunately dead now anyway ( well the offical enterance start date was 1906 !! )
But the good news is that Mrs Fordy was 2nd out of the bag so the pies are on fun Mrs F babe - and ok, you can have a beef and onion, trust you to have such expensive taste tho - cuh !!!!
The new competition starts as of today so don't be shy, there is a mystery prize for the winner this time tho...... just don't ask Micheal Barrymore what happened to the contents of his swimming pool tho ok !! lol xxxxx
Sexpert
Hey peeps,
As i am a bit of a tart (with a heart) and i am known for being a bit of a flirt i thought i would make it offical in 2006 and put my first post here ......... eeeerrrmmmmmm but i'm not sure what to put ??
Oh well, i had better get back in the chat room and use my charm.
Anybody got any good ideas for me on how to flirt well ?
Answers on a postcard to ........
The 1st one picked out wins a night out on the town of your choice with a slap up fish and chip supper or maybe a visit to Mrs Miggins pie shop - and who said romance was dead in the north ? ................
The 2nd one picked out gets 2 nights out with me !!! lol xxxxxx
Sexpert
HEY CM !! - I found ur keys !!
They were stuck up my khyber from a trick Paul Daniels did back in 1986 - before he met the delightful Debbie McGee i hasten to add. The thing is i forgot all about them being there after his trick failed - as i just ASSumed he'd magiced them straight back into the ignition of your c-reg xr3i !! Do you want them back BTW ?
Now that's magic !! lol xxxx
The moral of the story is never let a usless bald prick do magic tricks with ur cars keys - did u have a spare set tho too ???? lol xxxxxxx
Sexpert
There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with ur profile to me !!! lol
Seroiusly guys - there are some fab peeps on here and i am sure you will have lots of fun. The best way to meet peeps tho is to get into the chat room and get known and talk to peeps and actually get to know them too. There are lots of peeps looking for the same as you guys so i am sure its just a matter of time .............. have fun xxxxxxxx
Sexpert
ukcplmids - put ur claws away !! lol xxxxx
What can i say that hasn't already been said tho ? - it always guts me when i see semi literate desperate guys leaving this site ...... i just wish the rest would to now ...... in droves !!!
well..... for the one who does there are always another 1000 willing to take his place, its just a part of life's rich tapestry eh ?
God damn....... i hate being right all the time too !! lol :P
Its just a good job there are so many fab peeps on here to balance it all out too - happy swinging peeps xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sexpert
Well guys - far of it me to be pedantic..... but u both mean Carlsburg as the beer - as Carling is shite..... but the sentiment is there and i got ur point !! lol xxxxx
There are lots of fab peeps on here guys and i'm sure you will have lots of fun too.
TTFN and happy swinging xxxxxxxxxxxx
