Join the most popular community of British swingers now
Login
curvysue
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female, 51
0 miles · Bristol
Forum
Here here blue. I hope your friend gets their confidence back soon. As a bigger girl I have had a couple of occassions where I've been asked 'so how big are you'. I find that offensive, if you like bigger girls then it wouldn't make a difference to them. The only advice I can give your friend is to get back up, dust themselves down & don't let others spoil their fun.
xxxxxxxx
A major hurricane (Hurricane Shazza) and earthquake measuring 5.8 on
the Richter Scale hit Essex in the early hours of Friday with its
epicentre in Basildon.
Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "Faaackinell".
The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of
damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the
Costa Del Sol were damaged beyond economic repair.
Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals
were woken well before their giros arrived. Essex FM reported that
hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still
trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had
happened in Basildon.
One resident - Sharon-Tracy Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said, "It
was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my
bedroom, crying! My youngest two, Chardonnay-Mercedes and
Chardonnay-Mercedes slept through it all. I was still shaking when I
was skinning up and watching Trisha the next morning." A reporter
enquired if the other 2 children were also called Chardonnay-Mercedes,
on learning the news that this was the case, the mother explained that
she used the children's surnames when calling them to avoid confusion.
Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried
on as normal.
The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny
Delight to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are
still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of
personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth
Duke at Argos and Bone China from Pound-land.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those
unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most
sought after - items most needed include:
Fila or Burberry baseball caps
Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
Shell suits (female)
White sport socks
Rockport boots
Any other items usually sold in Primark.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Required foodstuffs include:
Microwave meals, Tins of baked beans, Ice cream, Cans of Colt 45 or
Special Brew. 22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms.
£2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9. £5 buys
B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.
**Breaking news**
Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry
alco-pop. 'Where are you bleeding from?' they asked," ROMFORD" said
the girl, "woss that gotta do wiv you?
A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. On his first night of freedom, he breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young, married couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
Whilst he's in the bathroom, the husband whispers over to his wife, listen, this guy is an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck, if he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain...do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous, if he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!"
His wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck, he was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's gay, and he thinks you're cute...he asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom.
Be strong honey, I love you, too.
Hey, my first meet stood me up too, after I had paid for a hotel room & travelled over 100 miles. They never even had the decency to tell me they couldn't make it. But hell, I had a good night out in Kettering anyway and wasn't by myself for too long!!! lol But I am glad I stuck with it (with encouragement from friends). I have met loads of lovely peeps since. So yes, stick with & hopefully you can have loads of fun too xxxxxx :doggy:
GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you
once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . having a drivers licence.
At age 35 success is . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . .. . having a drivers licence.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
Do I get the 'booby' prize for the lowest score??? 
About 3 years ago I was having a norty nite in a hotel room with a colleague. We had got very drunk on a nite out. In the height of passion, i could smell something really horrible & could feel something warm running down my legs. I looked down & I was covered in shit. He had only crapped himself. Not just a little bit either. It was all over both of us & all over the covers uuuurgh.
