.........for a single guy.
Haven't managed to find a partner who wants to swing, and have just split from my gf. Been a member of site for few months now, but it is hard as a single guy to get anywhere with regards to meets.
I havent been coming on strong to anyone, so was just wondering where i am going wrong, or should i just hang up my swingers boots(?). I don't want to but..........
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its Hard..................
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Hi Gucci,
I seem to be posting similar advice regularly at the moment, but no matter 
....
As a fellow single male swinger, I sympathise. SMs are at a disadvantage compared to SFs and couples, mainly because there are so many of us. This isn't helped by the fact that there are a lot of tossers in the SM community who see this site as an online brothel and expect women to throw themselves at them. (I'm not suggesting you're in that category, by the way ...)
This tends to result in a certain amount of caution on the part of couples and SFs when seeking partners, and many don't openly advertise that they will even meet SMs just to avoid being pestered.
The best approach is to use the chatroom and persevere with it. Start chatting to people, but in a way that is just plain friendly at first - just as if you were meeting them for a chat in a club or bar. Don't be too pushy or forceful, and don't assume that a meet is imminent (it probably isn't anyway). If you're willing to be patient, and can be seen to be willing to be patient, people will warm to you more and begin to trust you. Most regulars on this site are looking for friendship and entertainment first and foremost, with sex often being a welcome bonus but by no means guaranteed.
It can take time (took me 6 months to get my first meet), but once you have met someone and have comments on your profile, that goes even further towards making you atractive to other people since you now have a verifiable track record. Getting the first meet is the key, and requires patience I'm afraid.
I don't know how familiar you are with the chatroom - I used to hate it. I've put some of my own learning experiences in a thread in the "New and Nervous" forum, called "Chatroom Tips for Newbies" - it's right at the top of the list. Lots of people have been kind enough to write favourable comments about that, so I guess I must have got at least some of it right! :)
In summary, yes - It's Hard. It's not a lost cause, though - keep trying, and above all enjoy yourself!
Good luck,
Suds
....
As a fellow single male swinger, I sympathise. SMs are at a disadvantage compared to SFs and couples, mainly because there are so many of us. This isn't helped by the fact that there are a lot of tossers in the SM community who see this site as an online brothel and expect women to throw themselves at them. (I'm not suggesting you're in that category, by the way ...)
This tends to result in a certain amount of caution on the part of couples and SFs when seeking partners, and many don't openly advertise that they will even meet SMs just to avoid being pestered.
The best approach is to use the chatroom and persevere with it. Start chatting to people, but in a way that is just plain friendly at first - just as if you were meeting them for a chat in a club or bar. Don't be too pushy or forceful, and don't assume that a meet is imminent (it probably isn't anyway). If you're willing to be patient, and can be seen to be willing to be patient, people will warm to you more and begin to trust you. Most regulars on this site are looking for friendship and entertainment first and foremost, with sex often being a welcome bonus but by no means guaranteed.
It can take time (took me 6 months to get my first meet), but once you have met someone and have comments on your profile, that goes even further towards making you atractive to other people since you now have a verifiable track record. Getting the first meet is the key, and requires patience I'm afraid.
I don't know how familiar you are with the chatroom - I used to hate it. I've put some of my own learning experiences in a thread in the "New and Nervous" forum, called "Chatroom Tips for Newbies" - it's right at the top of the list. Lots of people have been kind enough to write favourable comments about that, so I guess I must have got at least some of it right! :)
In summary, yes - It's Hard. It's not a lost cause, though - keep trying, and above all enjoy yourself!
Good luck,
Suds Sexlightened
well put sudsy! :clap: :clap: :clap:
L & M xx
