A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"
The father answers: "Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:
You got Male!
A baby Polar Bear goes up to his father one day and asks, 'Dad, what am I?'
Daddy Polar bear looks down at his offspring and answers 'Why son, you're a Polar Bear'
Little Polar Bear asks 'But are you sure I'm a Polar Bear Dad?'
'Of course you are son,', replies Daddy Polar Bear, 'I'm a Polar Bear and mummy is a Polar Bear. If you don't beleive me, go and ask your mother.'
Off little Polar Bear trots to seek out his mother.
'Mum, what am I?' asks Baby Polar Bear.
'Why son, you're a Polar Bear of course' replies Mummy polar Bear.
'Are you really sure I'm a Polar Bear mum' asks Little Polar Bear.
'Of course you are son,', replies Mummy Polar Bear, 'I'm a Polar Bear and daddy is a Polar Bear.'
'Why do you ask? asks Mummy Polar Bear.
'Coz I'm fucking freezing!' replies Baby Polar Bear.
[quote user=dave40t]A baby Polar Bear goes up to his father one day and asks, 'Dad, what am I?'
Daddy Polar bear looks down at his offspring and answers 'Why son, you're a Polar Bear'
Little Polar Bear asks 'But are you sure I'm a Polar Bear Dad?'
'Of course you are son,', replies Daddy Polar Bear, 'I'm a Polar Bear and mummy is a Polar Bear. If you don't beleive me, go and ask your mother.'
Off little Polar Bear trots to seek out his mother.
'Mum, what am I?' asks Baby Polar Bear.
'Why son, you're a Polar Bear of course' replies Mummy polar Bear.
'Are you really sure I'm a Polar Bear mum' asks Little Polar Bear.
'Of course you are son,', replies Mummy Polar Bear, 'I'm a Polar Bear and daddy is a Polar Bear.'
'Why do you ask? asks Mummy Polar Bear.
'Coz I'm fucking freezing!' replies Baby Polar Bear.
[/quote]Dave one of my all time favorite jokes,glad to see u like it to ...........i thought i was alone pmsl
There's a family of balloon's , mummy balloon , daddy balloon , and baby balloon.
Getting towards bedtime and Baby balloon say's to daddy , can I sleep in you bed tonight pls ?
No say's daddy , your getting far to big for that , i'm not having it anymore.
Without being put off he decides to ask mummy as she is an easy touch ... Mummy can I sleep in your bed tonight please ?
No you cannot say's mummy , and i'm very annoyed cos I just heard you ask daddy, so no you cannot, your far to big for that now !!
Very sad he get's into his own bed , but during the night he creaps into his parent's room , goes to the bottom of the bed and pull's up the duvet , in order to make room for him self he undues his Knot and let's some air out and re-ties it , he also does this to mummy , then daddy , letting a little air out of each while they sleep.
Morning comes , daddy wakes up and sees baby in between them both , daddy is furious ........
Baby .. he say's , i'm so annoyed , you've not just let yourself down , you've let me down , you've let your mum down ........... !!!
Little boy comes home from school and says to his dad "hey dad whats testicles ?"
His dad said "Bollocks"
The lad said "Piss off then Gonna ask me mum"
An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his annual check-up. The doctor asks him how he's feeling. The 80-year-old says, "I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?" The doctor considers his question for a minute and then begins. "I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid trophy hunter and never misses a season. One day, when he was going out hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. When he got to the creek, he saw a prime beaver sitting beside the stream of water. He raised his cane and went 'bang, bang'. Suddenly, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. What do you think of that?"
The 80-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."
The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
