Warming the Bed
Two nuns decide to tour Europe. They start at the Vatican City, making their way in their little car through Italy, Spain, France and Germany before entering Eastern Europe. Finally they arrive in Transylvannia late one evening as the last rays of the sun depart below the horizon.
At the first set of traffic lights they stop at, a baby vampire jumps onto the bonnet, bares his fangs and begins to hiss at the nuns.
"Wait until we're moving again," says Sister Mary in the passenger seat, "Then hit the windscreen wipers."
The traffic lights change to green, so Sister Bernadette in the driver's seat pulls away and duly starts the windscreen wipers. They drive along the main highway at 60 mph with the baby vampire gamely holding onto the windscreen wipers, refusing to let go and continuing to hiss at them.
They come to a halt at another set of traffic lights and Sister Bernadette switches off the windscreen wipers.
"Any more ideas?" she asks.
"When you pull away this time, squirt him with the windscreen washer and then hit the wipers," says Sister Mary. "I topped up the bottle with holy water before we left the Holy See. That'll fix him."
The lights change to green, Sister Bernadette pulls away, hits the windscreen washer and then starts the wipers. The holy water burns the baby vampire, but he refuses to budge and continues to hiss at them.
They come to a halt at a third set of lights and Sister Bernadette switches off the windscreen wipers. "What now?" she asks Sister Mary.
"I know!" says her companion. "Show him your cross!"
"OK!" says Sister Bernadette, who unbuckles her seat belt, gets out of the car and hollers at the little vampire "Oi! You piece of undead shit! Get the fuck off my car!"
:clap: :lol: :clap: :lol:
Like that one soup.