Straight single Male- SEE YOU ALREADY MOVED ON TO next ...

15 Sep 2006

Hello and thankyou for reading this post. Im afraid its abit of a rant and im wording it as i go along, so sorry if i repeat myself etc. Basically im a straight single male who has been a member of this site for a short time. But im already getting the feeling that im not welcome. sad

Dont get me wrong i know im no Tom Cruise and wasnt expecting -or wanting- a flood of offers for a shag. But from readind the forums, profiles and chat room it seems pretty obvious that this is a community only for females and couples. As always single females will get flooded by offers and it seems couples stay with couples apart from the odd invite to other single females. So where does it leave the single male. We are stigmatized straight off as pervs/timewasters/pranksters etc. How can you prove your not one of these guys if everybody excludes you on prejudice. Its like being back at school only now im the kid everyone ignores. I thought swinging was all about acceptance and meeting new people whatever there preferences, lifestyles or situations. But its not on this site its a closed door community to single men. I thought by being a PAID member people would take me more seriously, who pays a tenner a month just to piss other people about? My situation is this, ive been interested in swinging since Louis Theroux did a documentary about it in America. I have asked two long term partners if they wanted to get involved and they didnt, which was fine. But now that im single and have access to the net i thought rather than meet someone and hope they want to get into swinging, why not go to a swinging site and meet people there directly. So here i am. But from reading forum posts, profiles, chatroom it seems the last thing people want on this site is another single male. So what the hell is guy meant to do? Its ok preaching about taking time and get to know people but thats kind of difficult when people ignore you without giving you the time of day. From reading posts etc it seems the last thing i should do is mail someone unsolicted because im "another single male" therefore im not worth bothering about because i must be a pest/perv/timewaster etc. To be perfectly honest i feel there is not only prejudice against single guys but a bit of snobbery in there too. Am i the only guy that feels this way? So for once this is a post that actually welcomes a single guy to comment!

15 Sep 2006

No, You are in no way unwelcome! I don't think single males are snubbed, We chat to single guys all the time and occasionally meet them! There are a lot of nice genuine guys out there, and a lot who get meets! It is only the idiots who think this is a porn site that are not wanted. biggrin

Post edited 15-09-2006 11:27

15 Sep 2006

It isnt that single males are unwelcome its just a sad fact that there are a few who ruin it for other singles guys .Most of the single guys i have spoken to are polite and very easy to talk give up hope keep being yourself and im sure you will soon settle in .xx

15 Sep 2006

Hi Ronin. We do hope we have never given anyone the cold shoulder. We do meet single males just dont advertise it coz boy does that open a kettle of worms lol Your a nice bloke i have spoken to you a few times and other men too i just think alot of the time we are bombarded and get sick of it coz a few think we are there for there pleasure not ours! Nice tits show me wot you got below etc, its boring :wank: Speak to you soon Ronin, your a great bloke xx Kathy biggrin

15 Sep 2006

Ronin you are most welcome here!xxxxxxxxxxx KC you hit the nail right on the head then, other people thinking you are here for THEIR pleasure NOT yours. It sums it up no more needs saying! xxxxxxxx

15 Sep 2006

Ronin, Here's from a fellow single-male! Yes, I understand exactly where you're coming from. Although I must say I've never felt particulary UNwelcome on this site, it is certainly true that it's harder for single males to become accepted. The problem is, if you do even a basic search through the members in your local area, you'll find that we outnumber couples by about 3-1 (by my reckoning), and single fems by nearly 10-1. Basically, we are in the overwhelming majority! The next problem is that, sadly, there ARE a lot of single males out there who are not interested in making friends first, are not willing to engage in friendly chat in the chatroom, and basically just see this site as an easy way to try to get a free shag. THIS is what turns couples and single fems off, and who can blame them? Personally, I found that it took a while and a bit of perseverence in the chatroom before I started to get regular meets, but it did work (although it took about 6 months). The chatroom is the BEST place to get to know people, I find. Profiles can only tell you so much - chatting to someone on a regular basis (and on cam too if possible) tells you far more about them and also lets them find out far more about you. Newbie single males are not automatically welcomed with open arms, and you're right - some couples and fems ARE openly hostile to us, but not many. If you follow the site code of conduct (which is basically be nice to people and be patient), then you should soon start to get a lot more out of this site. Good luck! Post edited 15-09-2006 19:49 Post edited 15-09-2006 19:51

19 Sep 2006

ronin, another single male here i agree with sudsy the chat room is good place to chat to even can cheer you up if you feeling a bit down having a good natter. ive yet to meet anyone on this site but look forward to it. i think it takes just patients and again good manners theres to many nutters out there. have fun surfing

19 Sep 2006

You're only paying ten quid a month?!?

20 Sep 2006

hi mate, I totally agree & I said so in a lengthy reply to your post on the forum. This morning, my reply is gone!! Guess they don't want us single guys to find out that we are wasting our time & money on here. I've given up trying to meet anyone on here, unless you're part of the "clique" or a couple, you've got no chance. I just use the site to perv at the cams late at night & I quite like the idea that me looking at them is probably not what they are looking for!!!

20 Sep 2006

[quote user=oprahs2]Guess they don't want us single guys to find out that we are wasting our time & money on here. I've given up trying to meet anyone on here, unless you're part of the "clique" or a couple, you've got no chance. [/quote] May I add that this is your opinion of the site - I am certain that many other single males on this site can vouch that they have had very succesful meets with members on this site. However I am sure that there technique is slightly different than yours. Firstly I understand that any member looking to meet someone who shows an interest immediately looks to your profile for images and interests that you may share. From your profile, this has no images nor any relevance to any interests or situations that you are looking for. This swinging community is close but perhaps might be hindered with male accounts who think that they can register an account and instantly 'get lucky'. My opinion is that females or couples insist on getting to know a fellow member before contemplating any meets. A key feature on the site to get to know someone is via the chat room and also the forum. I am unaware of your chat room activity but from your forum posts, these seem very negative, a quality that will put others off. I feel that sudsy has hit the nail on the head: [quote user=sudsy] The next problem is that, sadly, there ARE a lot of single males out there who are not interested in making friends first, are not willing to engage in friendly chat in the chatroom, and basically just see this site as an easy way to try to get a free shag. THIS is what turns couples and single fems off, and who can blame them? Personally, I found that it took a while and a bit of perseverence in the chatroom before I started to get regular meets, but it did work (although it took about 6 months). The chatroom is the BEST place to get to know people, I find. Profiles can only tell you so much - chatting to someone on a regular basis (and on cam too if possible) tells you far more about them and also lets them find out far more about you. [/quote] This advice is spot on :clap: Post edited 20-09-2006 12:09

20 Sep 2006

Absolutely agree, Admin and Sudsy - from one single male who knows, and therefore enjoys his time here! :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: Life's too short to be cynical...........so get out there and enjoy it! Post edited 20-09-2006 12:27

20 Sep 2006

admin oprahs2 said... Guess they don't want us single guys to find out that we are wasting our time & money on here. I've given up trying to meet anyone on here, unless you're part of the "clique" or a couple, you've got no chance. May I add that this is your opinion of the site - I am certain that many other single males on this site can vouch that they have had very succesful meets with members on this site. However I am sure that there technique is slightly different than yours. Firstly I understand that any member looking to meet someone who shows an interest immediately looks to your profile for images and interests that you may share. From your profile, this has no images nor any relevance to any interests or situations that you are looking for. This swinging community is close but perhaps might be hindered with male accounts who think that they can register an account and instantly 'get lucky'. My opinion is that females or couples insist on getting to know a fellow member before contemplating any meets. A key feature on the site to get to know someone is via the chat room and also the forum. I am unaware of your chat room activity but from your forum posts, these seem very negative, a quality that will put others off. What a white-wash - you failed to explain why you took down my earlier reply. If you had read that, you would have seen that I've put no effort in to my profile as I'm not interested in meeting anyone from this site. I observed the chatroom & saw how single guys were treated & decided that the last thing i wanted to do was spend anytime with the couples on here.

21 Sep 2006

what a fantastic analogy, virtual bar......... double vodka n diet pepsi please no ice biggrin

Ronin your still a great bloke, dont see you in chat much now ??? xxx

21 Sep 2006

How cools that ....... free drink biggrin

:D xx

21 Sep 2006

Is there such a thing as being virtually drunk?

21 Sep 2006

There virtually anything that can become a virtual something - and take on a meaning not originally intended. I used to work in a computer place that was developing software in the virtual reality world - the lab was called the 'Virtual Working Environment' - LMAO - mostly everywhere I've worked could have been called that. I'm also an SM on this site. My experience is different to some others. Probably just lucky. First enquiry from a single fem came about 5 minutes after registering on the site - and we're still meeting up five months later. The other ppl I've met have involved hours of chatting on here and on that m s n place - and phone calls - and meets just as a 'get to know u' - before anything else became possible. Persevere - laugh - have no expectations - stay loose - and there's always diy in the mean time LOL ... John xx

22 Sep 2006

ur4it oprahs2 said... What a white-wash - you failed to explain why you took down my earlier reply. If you had read that, you would have seen that I've put no effort in to my profile as I'm not interested in meeting anyone from this site. I observed the chatroom & saw how single guys were treated & decided that the last thing i wanted to do was spend anytime with the couples on here. Actually, oprahs2, I removed your post because of the extremely negative tone it took. I am fed up with people bad-mouthing the site. The site is just like a "virtual bar", if you leave a bar alone, do you criticise the bar? No. You go back another time and try to get to know the regulars a little better. what give's you the right to remove both mine & ronin's post? The "Anything Goes" section of the forum is advertised a place to "have a rant". I couldn't give a monkeys whether you're upset with people slating the site, it's not your call. Neither me nor Ronin broke any of the T's & C's of the forum, we just rammed home a few truths. Again, no effort has been made to explain the "phantom messages" single guys get to entice them into subscribing to the site. Is the real reason you've pulled our posts is because you don't want us giving the game away? As for getting to know the regulars, if you left my post up long enough for people to read them, I've stated that I'm not interested in getting to know anyone from here, I just use the site to perv the cams (nothing wrong with that & it doesn't break any t's & c's). I quietly observed how other single guys were treated on here & then observed it myself from the abuse I was given by (ids deleted by ur4it). If you want people to stop slating the site, maybe you need to look at the clique on here & the negative reaction to single males from the majority of couples. Single guys are the mug money that keep this site alive - if u want a couples only site, please refund all single guys their subscriptions & stop them from joining. I wonder how long the site would last then? If you're going to pull the thread again, at least have the decency to point out which rules I broke rather than your hurt feelings. Post edited 22-09-2006 8:05

22 Sep 2006

OK ..i'm not realy sure where all this waffle leaves ME . I have only met SM's on this site ...all be it after extensive ,vetting , procedures from me ..but it's not like I'm going out to buy a new hair dryer ...or summat ...why on earth , would I open my legs , ..purely , because somebodies paid a ruddy membership fee , to the same site . Result being , every single guy I have had a meet off here , has been an absolute pleasure & delight ..& potential swing parteners . maybe you should look beyond your membership fee ..

22 Sep 2006

p.s. ..has argos still got thier sale on ?????????? I quite fancy the ..." Harmony Rollers " .. :rainbow:

22 Sep 2006

Tally :clap: I too have only met SMs through the site. Three out of four of them were gems. Decent, nice guys who have made the effort to get known in the chatroom, who never whispered to me, who can join in the chat with everyone & not direct a barrage solely at me. I agree its like a virtual bar. If a stranger came up & started whispering or coming on too strongly to me when I am with a group of friends in a bar I wouldn't be impresssed. However, if someone came in the bar a few times & made the effort to get to know people and came across as a gentlemen then I would start considering getting to know them a bit better by myself. I think that there is a place on here for SMs, but only ones who make the effort to get known and liked. I think its unfortunate that you decided to name people directly on the forum rather than report them to admin for abuse. However, I have never seen any of those named give anyone abuse, so my thoughts are that if one of them gave you abuse then maybe they were out of order, but for three sets of people to give you abuse, then something must have been done or said to warrant getting an earbashing!!!!!!

22 Sep 2006

Let's all play nicely now - any further expressions about the site, please fire them towards my mailbox smile

22 Sep 2006

ok folks i ghave had about enough of the moaning re the single chaps .. so here is my view. i like single chaps most i know are fun polite and respectfull. hell iv even met up with a few. what hacks me off and turns me right off meeting some of them is negativity. some cpls can be very nasty to so its not confined to single males .... now i respect the choise of peeps to meet up with and be with whome ever they choose. im bi so i dont say i wont meet x or y. i wont meet certain peeps in here as i dont think id feel safe as we dont get along. but i dont berate one section of our happy comunity. and lets be honest its quite poss to report peeps that abuse you or pesteryou can then just ignor the prob or cut and paste the abuse in to the forum if its wispers that anoy the paste it in to the room. failing that ... send them to me ....lol

23 Sep 2006

Sorry about my spelling before i start, avnt got me spel check on this comp lol my god the clique has come up again. maybe the clique will take over the world? they seem powerful enough. no serious, at the end of the day people who have met each other, and just generally people who get on are going to talk to each other, and are going have a laugh with each other. half the time that chat moves so fast that i will only look out for the people i know , or if someone uses my name. as to single males. no mater how many of them have been utter idiots to me, this doesnt stop me being polite and talking to those blokes who are respectful. and there are loads of blokes in the chat room who i think are wicked, and always made the effort to talk to me. if you are polite, talk in the room, say to people hello individually then im sure you wont be ignord. but if someone after that does ignore you, do you really want to waste your time on them? its obviously their loss. and to people who slate the site in the forums. i have been on the site for nearly 2 years now, i think? and to be honest i dont want to read people slating the site, not only does it bore me but its a waste of my time. i dont understand if people have such a problem with it, then just leave. theres no need to bring everyone else down. i do understand that people might have genuine problems, but we dont need to know. contact admin or a mod, someone who can actually do something about it. the whole time we have been here yes there have been some ups and downs, but we have stayed, this is obviously a site we choose to be on. and there are plenty of other sites for people to join who dislike this one. my rant over lol xxxxx biggrin

:D :moon: :moon:

23 Sep 2006

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