What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and a Mercedes SL?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
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Warming the Bed
a blonde is having problems doing a jigsaw, she says to her hubby help me with this its supposed to be a tiger, he says for f--ks sake put the frosties back in the box. 
:lol: :lol:
:lol: :lol: And I thought that was Beckham!
When Gazza joined Celtic, just before his first game, one of the other players took him to one side and said 'The boss is going to pull you off at half time'
Gazza looks at him in disbelief.
'That'll be different, at Arsenal we only ever got half an orange!'
