why oh why is it so clicky on ere yes we are all ere for some fun and chat but i have never known anything in my long but experienced life, people say hi but then thats it there is no more room for getting chatty, im absolutely gutted as the media make this swinging thing out to be seedy and disturbing to the younger generation wel let them in on this site and the truth will out, if your not in the gang you are not even going to be spoken to i have been coming on ere now for 1 month, have renewed my membership and thinking WHY, yes you women will sleep with eachother men dont (exceptions for the few) what does one have to do for a chat, laugh, some people may say this is sour grapes but if your a single male and seem to get on then let me know cos im this close to pulling my hair out and jacking it all in, it seems like a big farsde to me with no real action in any sense unless your in the click
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single men dont get on
Hi Cowpat! What you are saying has been said before millions of times and I do understand your frustration (as do a lot of people). Your views on the chat room I can understand but It does take time to get to know people - have you tried engaging people in chat other than "Hi"? Also the "click" your talking about doesn't really exist its just that some of us have been on this site years, some have met personally for fun and some have met at the socials that are organised in the "lets meet up" part of the forum. Have you looked up the "chat room tips for newbies" in the "new and nervous" part of the forum - it is full of great advice and was penned by a single male who is well established in the chat room and on the swinging scene. There are lots of established single males on this site and they will tell you that it is hard going (forgive the pun) at first but you have to stick with it and persevere (Sudsy, Swingin Cat and Fun4u2me2 are single males who are popular and well known along with many others but I know these guys personally). Lots of people have thrived from attending a social gathering where they've been able to meet new friends and potential meets so why not consider that? There is a social meet planned for 2nd June in Milton Keynes if you're interested.
Don't take it to heart mate its not only you. Love Kelly xx
Casanova
cowpat... there is nothing I can add that kel hasn't already said brilliantly... its tough going for any newbie to get used to the chatroom (and I'm an elusive single female! lol) but if you persevere it will get better, but you have to realise that there are so many single males on this site as well. - hope you stick around and enjoy it babes, it really is a friendly site xxx
sorry to hear this pat... but i was in the chat room this afternoon and i said ello to you... you didnt reply... so this just shows how u can miss stuff... cos i dont belive u would ignor little old me 
i have belonged to the site for 10 months now and have made some grt friends and still making new ones and thats cos the new ones are yummie :lol:... you have to just jump in say hi and then just talk butt in on convo's... it gets so busy its hard to see everything... but everyone understands this and if someone dosnt answer u dont take it personel...
i would also surgest coming to one of the social meets, these are for everyone... and grt way to say hi and get known...
so dont give up just yet
mwahhhhh
MO- xx
i have belonged to the site for 10 months now and have made some grt friends and still making new ones and thats cos the new ones are yummie :lol:... you have to just jump in say hi and then just talk butt in on convo's... it gets so busy its hard to see everything... but everyone understands this and if someone dosnt answer u dont take it personel...
i would also surgest coming to one of the social meets, these are for everyone... and grt way to say hi and get known...
so dont give up just yet
mwahhhhh
MO- xx Hi Cowpat - lots of good advice above, but I thought you might appreciate a single male's point of view as well 
I know EXACTLY where you're coming from. It can feel so unrewarding and frustrating at first, can't it? This may be no consolation, but I felt just like you did when I first joined the site about 18 months ago. I wasn't getting any meets, I found the chatroom very intimidating and unrewarding, and I really didn't think things would ever change.
The good news is that 18 months later, I'm actually taking a break now (this is a fleeting visit to write this message!), partly because the number of potential meets was starting to get out of hand. That's not meant to be a boast, by the way, it's just to emphasize how far the pendulum has swung the other way for me.
The hardest part is getting the first meet. Once you've achieved that (and it took me 6 months!) you can each exchange comments on your profiles, and get established. That makes you immediately more interesting to other people, because you now have a (hopefully good!) track record that someone else will vouch for.
How do you get the first meet? Well, there is a certain amount of good fortune required, I suppose, but I'd follow Kel's advice - get yourself to a group meet and just mingle. You might not get any sex even then, but you will at least start networking, and that's the key to the swinging game. There's a very good chance that a meet will follow if you click with someone (and I believe that there are more than 150 going to Milton Keynes in June, so you can hardly fail, really! 
)
I know that single males as a species start off at a disadvantage - there are just so many of us, and sadly there are a lot of pillocks out there too that give the rest of us a bad reputation. On the plus side, you can use that to your advantage, because a genuine, respectful, friendly, chatty, non-pushy single male tends to stand out as something of a rarity in the chatroom, and you can get noticed that way!
You'll also notice that most couples specify "No single males" in their profile. That's very often true, but it's also a common method of fending off unwanted attention. If you take the time to chat and get to know people, and let them get to know you, you can very often find that a surprising number of couples will actually meet select single males. That's where the chatroom is invaluable.
I've tried to condense most of my learning process into a forum post in the "New and Nervous" forum, called "Chatroom Tips for Newbies" (it's at the top) - thanks for the plug, too, Kel :-o .
One last suggestion - you could benefit from some photos on your profile initially, at least until you've become better known. People who just peruse the profiles won't stop at yours if there's no pics there - why should they?
To conclude, don't give up - I've now had plenty of meets and have made lots of genuine friends on this site, from a starting position of zero, and there's nothing special about me.
Good luck!
Suds
I know EXACTLY where you're coming from. It can feel so unrewarding and frustrating at first, can't it? This may be no consolation, but I felt just like you did when I first joined the site about 18 months ago. I wasn't getting any meets, I found the chatroom very intimidating and unrewarding, and I really didn't think things would ever change.
The good news is that 18 months later, I'm actually taking a break now (this is a fleeting visit to write this message!), partly because the number of potential meets was starting to get out of hand. That's not meant to be a boast, by the way, it's just to emphasize how far the pendulum has swung the other way for me.
The hardest part is getting the first meet. Once you've achieved that (and it took me 6 months!) you can each exchange comments on your profiles, and get established. That makes you immediately more interesting to other people, because you now have a (hopefully good!) track record that someone else will vouch for.
How do you get the first meet? Well, there is a certain amount of good fortune required, I suppose, but I'd follow Kel's advice - get yourself to a group meet and just mingle. You might not get any sex even then, but you will at least start networking, and that's the key to the swinging game. There's a very good chance that a meet will follow if you click with someone (and I believe that there are more than 150 going to Milton Keynes in June, so you can hardly fail, really! )
I know that single males as a species start off at a disadvantage - there are just so many of us, and sadly there are a lot of pillocks out there too that give the rest of us a bad reputation. On the plus side, you can use that to your advantage, because a genuine, respectful, friendly, chatty, non-pushy single male tends to stand out as something of a rarity in the chatroom, and you can get noticed that way!
You'll also notice that most couples specify "No single males" in their profile. That's very often true, but it's also a common method of fending off unwanted attention. If you take the time to chat and get to know people, and let them get to know you, you can very often find that a surprising number of couples will actually meet select single males. That's where the chatroom is invaluable.
I've tried to condense most of my learning process into a forum post in the "New and Nervous" forum, called "Chatroom Tips for Newbies" (it's at the top) - thanks for the plug, too, Kel :-o .
One last suggestion - you could benefit from some photos on your profile initially, at least until you've become better known. People who just peruse the profiles won't stop at yours if there's no pics there - why should they?
To conclude, don't give up - I've now had plenty of meets and have made lots of genuine friends on this site, from a starting position of zero, and there's nothing special about me.
Good luck!
Suds Hi, Sudsy as ever is full if wisdom (great to hear from you too mate). As a single girl on the site I never meet people who don't have photos & I tend not to meet people who have not been established/have comments. Sounds a bit selfish, but it is a greater risk for us single girls not having a man about if anything goes wrong. The socials is definately a great way to meet people. It makes things so much easier in the chatroom too as you have the personal touch of actually having met them in person first.
Again Sudsy is correct in that the gentlemen who chat away in the chatroom, have fun & aren't pushy stand out. As they say, the chatroom is very much like a cyber bar. If a stranger came up to me in a real bar & whispered smut they would get a smack. Men who are laid back, up for a laugh tend to start getting my interest. Also those that come in the chatroom & just say 'Hi' will usually get a 'Hi' back, but unless you make the effort to join in the conversations, people won't make the effort back. It may feel rude jumping in a conversation, but thats how conversations start in the real world. Treat it like a night out with friends, relax and enjoy yourself.
Sue xx
Casanova
ooh sudsy.. you know the real reason your not on site at the moment is cos your saving yourself for me!!! :P
Post edited 08-03-2007 14:36
hi cowpat,
as a female and part of a cpl, i totally agree with all the comments left!! im sorry 2 hear u havent meet anyone from the site social or for sxy fun but its still really early days yet when u join any groups (even in normal world) u have 2 get ur foot in the door first. did u really except 2 jump str8 into meets and sxy fun within wks of joining this site??
the click u talk about is total rubbish!!
until we went 2 the b-pool meet in feb and now have meet a few ppl, have comments about us and been established. for 3 mths i (Lolly) could go into the chatroom say hi, get loads of hi back and not chat 2 anyone. as a female, u may think thats not true but i didnt get angry or put a big sob story on forum!! saying how bad this site is, i just got 2 know ppl better and try and chat 2 ppl!! so it doesnt just happen 2 single guys!!
u totally need to put the effect in and chat, pics, cam, exchange mobile numbers, chat on fone, then meet social for a drink 2 see if u get on and then meet again for sxy fun. most swingers, like ourself but not all swingers, dont meet complete strangers, who we have just said hi 2 in the chatroom without at least gettin to know them abit with pics and chattin on the fone, we dont dont do quickie in a carpark with anyone with first meet!!
also i do have one little question 2 ask u cowpat??
why have u given urself the id name COWPAT ?? cause a cowpat is sticky, smelly, horrible, has flies flying around it and something ppl try and not step in or even go by!!
i find ur id name, alittle off putting!! it might just be me and if so, sorry for that but the id name (cowpat) on a swinging site just isnt very sxy..........LOL
Lolly
Post edited 09-03-2007 8:10
[quote user=p2l4ever]hi cowpat
also i do have one little question 2 ask u cowpat??
why have u given urself the id name COWPAT ?? cause a cowpat is sticky, smelly, horrible, has flies flying around it and something ppl try and not step in or even go by!!
i find ur id name, alittle off putting!! it might just be me and if so, sorry for that but the id name (cowpat) on a swinging site just isnt very sxy..........LOL
Lolly
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
should have had name as
MOOPOO.. AT least that sounds better
:lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
should have had name as
MOOPOO.. AT least that sounds better
:lol: [quote user=babydevil]ooh sudsy.. you know the real reason your not on site at the moment is cos your saving yourself for me!!! :P
Post edited 08-03-2007 14:36[/quote]
Baby i have to disagree totally lol as i pray to god that sudsy is saving himself for me. Mind you I have already had the PLEASURE a few times so maybe I shouldnt be gready :P
[quote user=swingin_cat][quote user=cowpat] why oh why is it so clicky on ere yes we are all ere for some fun and chat but i have never known anything in my long but experienced life, [/quote]
Hate whingers who expect a shag in a short stay - get an extension to your 'long and experienced' life!
Love to know what you consider experienced is - need to know, cos it certinly ain't swingin! [/quote]
Warming the Bed
Mate, there is nothing much more i can say that has not already been said by others. Sudsy puts his views across very well and take his advice. I joined in December and went to my fisrt social event in Leeds for Kells bday. Nothing happened and i did not expect it to either as i was a new, but in return met some nice people there and still continue too in the chat room. I am going to Milton Keynes meet and am looking forward to it. Keep with it!
Post edited 10-03-2007 15:04
Post edited 10-03-2007 15:05
personaly i like to know what the person looks like before i play and i like to know who im chatting to as well , so i must also say it would be nice if you have a pic on profile. i know some folks its not a good idea to plaster your face over a sex site but blot it out show it discised ect. pls send a pic in if you can i will even autherise it as soon as i see it hunny xx
As very much a newbie on here, I would like to say that most who I have talked to so far have been extremely friendly and do try to make me feel welcome. As everyone has already said, it takes time to get to know people and however frustrating that may be it is a fact of life. Perhaps I am not normal 
but I am keen to get to know a lady or couple before I might meet them, just as much as they would be. I know I am safe but then I am biased!!!!!!!!
I do a lot of watching the text and seeing who knows who - great way to find out about people and I dont always say anything for an hour or so.
Chin up and good luck
Angus
Post edited 13-03-2007 17:12
but I am keen to get to know a lady or couple before I might meet them, just as much as they would be. I know I am safe but then I am biased!!!!!!!!
I do a lot of watching the text and seeing who knows who - great way to find out about people and I dont always say anything for an hour or so.
Chin up and good luck
Angus
Post edited 13-03-2007 17:12 