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Jokes!

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Yes, I agree with several of you, that this site is very quiet at the moment. Has anyone got any good jokes to share? Here is one that amused me....... A man went into a pub and saw a huge jar full of money on the bar. "What's that for", he asked, to which the landlord explained, "its the prize money for anyone who can complete two tasks for me. Firstly, I have a rottweiler in the back yard who has some infected teeth that need removing, and then secondly I want you to go upstairs and give multiple orgasms to my old granny in bed". That doesn't sound too difficult, thought the man, so off he went into the back yard. After an hour of yelps, screams, curses and growls, the bloodstained man staggered back into the pub, "right", he said, "done that!!!! Now where's your old granny with the bad teeth..........?". biggrin
Thought this was a swinging site? If i wanted Jokes I could go to the Comedy Store or watch the Iplayer. Sorry i knew the punchline before i read it.
Crikey debs we are just having a laugh. This site needs a bit more fun injected into it at the mo!
Sorry Oliviak,I`m just getting a bit bored with it,think its the Weather.
Well, at least I tried!!!! I've read lots of moans recently about this site not being what it used to, too many new members,not enough participation, boring forums etc... yet when somebody relatively new, like me, tries to make an effort, I get cut down flat! I don,t know why I bothered.
I know what you mean mikemaggie I've been trying too!!!:bounce:
How do 2 mice screw in a light bulb??? Feck knows..... I don't even know how they got in there in the first place. Soz but I aint very good at jokes. :bounce:
Thanks Oli xxxxxx
I'm all for some livening up guys! Here's my joke... One night at a club little red riding hood and the big bad wolf were getting their groove on. After hours of dancing and leading each other on, they went back to his place. He asked her "come on please just let me stick it in." Little Red Riding hood replied 'Stick to to the story motherf**ker, EAT ME!
btw debs, this is an 'anything goes' forum.... so cheer up! :happy: :P :bounce:
Yeah I happen to love SP and have made some good friends and have had some wicked naughty fun times on here! All the negative vibes lately are getting me downdunno So here's another joke... A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?" The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry." Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?" He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
a female dwarf goes to the doctors with a sore fanny. Doctor gets some scissors out and snips around a bit. Dwarf says that feels alot better, i didnt feel a thing. What have you done? Doctor say (oh dear you really ready for this - i apologies now smile ) Ive trimmed the top off your wellies:giggle::giggle::giggle: How shit was that but hey i bet you have a little chuckle, and a little chuckle goes a long way. xxxx
What's big and red and lies in the gutter? A dead bus. :2fingers:
CC..... love that joke biggrin (yours not mine!)
CC very good loved it xxxxxx Whats Red and Thin and covered in Skin? Rhubarb
Midgie think mines as bad as yours,I hate telling Jokes,
What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese :P