jokes lol
Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married.
She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room.
She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a
cute-glass bowl sitting on top of it.
The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!
When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.
The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.
'Miss Beatrice', he said, 'I wonder if you would tell me about this?' pointing to the bowl.
'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground.
The directions said to place it on the organ,
keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease.
Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter.'
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back from the dead.............
Sexlightened
love it.......
Paddy sitting on the train across from a blonde in a mini skirt. He realises she is going commando. Are you looking a my fanny she asks. Yes, I'm sorry says Paddy. It's ok, she says, it's very talented. Watch this, I can make it blow a kiss and wink at you. He stares in amazement as the fanny first blows a kiss at him, then winks at hime sit next to me - would you like to stick two fingers in ? Fucking hell, says Paddy - can it whistle as well ?
Sex God
diliododo
> > A little boy about 12 years old is walking down the street dragging a
> > > flattened frog on a string behind him. He came up to the doorstep of 'a
> > > house of ill repute' and knocked on the door.
> > >
> > > When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he
> > > wanted.
> > >
> > > He said, 'I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the
> > > money to buy it, and I'm not leaving until I get it.
> > >
> > > The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in. Once in, she
> told
> > > him to pick any of the girls he liked. He asked, 'Do any of the girls
> have
> > > any diseases?'
> > >
> > > Of course the Madam said 'No'.
> > >
> > > The boy said, 'I heard all the men talking about having to get shots
> after
> > > making love with Amber - THAT'S the girl I want.'
> > >
> > > Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the
> > > Madam told him to go to the first room on the right.
> > >
> > > He headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him. Ten
> minutes
> > > later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed
> > > out the door.
> > >
> > > The Madam stopped him and asked, 'Why did you pick the only girl in the
> > > place with a disease, instead of one of the others?'
> > >
> > > He said, 'Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents
> are
> > > going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with a baby-sitter.
> > > After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she just
> > > happens to be very fond of cute little boys. She will then get the
> disease
> > > that I just caught. When Mum and Dad get back, Dad will take the
> > > baby-sitter home. On the way, he'll give her one in the car and he'll
> > > catch the disease.
> > >
> > > Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitter's, he and Mum will go to
> bed
> > > and have sex, and Mum will catch it. In the morning when Dad goes to
> work,
> > > the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mum and catch the
> > > disease, and HE'S the prick who ran over my FROG!
