So far I've kept my mouth shut (to a point) on this issue and just issued a few flipant remarks, however, its time for me to speak. I am going to be pedantic here and use the quoting system so bear with me.
[quote]Something that sadly gets swept under the carpet all to frequently is that, yes, WOMEN can be every bit as unpleasant, fake and outright rude in the swinging scene as men, and yet, this goes overlooked far too often[/quote]
[b]Yes, women on here can be rude, obnoxious and downright vile but believe me, it doesn't get overlooked, in fact, women on here who have a bad repution tend to leave as soon as the 'word gets out' that they are not as sweet and innocent as they seem.[/b]
[quote]Now I'm well aware that there are plenty of fake profiles on this site, the majority of which are womens - maybe its some phillipino girl preying on lonely middle aged guys to get a home here, or some bizarre closet guy posing as a woman to get a piece of other guys wank fantasies I dont know, but I'm gonna assume that at least SOME of the female profiles on here are genuine, and these are the girls I'm aiming this thread at[/quote]
[b]I would personally like to see how you can prove this statement. I personally would have thought that most of the fake profiles on here were posted by men, either pretending to be single females or pretending to be couples. Yes, I admit that there might be a few single female fake profiles but what do they have to gain? I would have thought it would be much harder for women to get a thrill out of sitting behind a computer screen, pretending they are something/someone different and 'jerking' off. I may be displaying a hint of naivetee here![/b]
[quote]This is a swingers site - its for people who ultimately want to have sex. Sure theres more to swinging than that, but sex is what it all boils down to - at some point you want to find someone you can get physically intimate with.[/quote]
[b]Please define your interpretation of the word 'intimate.' I may get physical with someone other than Jason but I can promise you, I never get intimate. Intimate to me means exactly as described in the dictionary..... promoting a feeling of privacy, coziness, romance..... Thats for me and Jason. To get physical with someone, in my world means to shag them silly.[/b]
[quote]So theres your first bit of advice - If you're not here looking for sex, you shouldnt even be here [/quote]
[b]Even if someone is not looking for sex, why should they NOT be on here? The social side of swinging is just as much fun as the physical side. I know plenty of couples who, for whatever reasons, are unable to 'play' currently but they stay on here for the forums, the meets and the general chat, all in the company of like minded individuals.[/b]
[quote]Yeah its scary in there at first - for guys too funnily enough, and yes you will get whispered, because guys on a site intended to help people find other people looking for sex might, god forbid! have some intention of having sex with you! [/quote]
[b]It clearly states, at the top of the chat room, NO WHISPERS. Therefore, I personally do not expect to get whispers from anyone I do not know particularly well without the curtousy of them asking first and I include all single men in that statement[/b]
[quote]Ok, I'm not going to lie to you, plenty of these whispers will be from obnoxious jerks to who you wouldnt give a second glance in the street, but never the less you should whisper back with a simple 'no thanks' if youre not interested. Why? Its good manners, plain and simple, and it shows that you have substance. If a guy who you actually like the look of whispers you, you can make a private room in chat so you can chat freely there without being disturbed, its not hard to do[/quote]
[b]Why should we whisper back and be polite? Forgive me repeating myself but it clearly states at the top of the chat room, NO WHISPERS. If they can not be bothered to ask first and risk a rebutal, pray tell me why we should whisper back with a 'no thanks?' From experience, I can tell you that if you whisper back, even with a very polite 'no thanks,' you generally tend (this may be more single women than couples) to get an even more obnoxious reply back including,
'Well fuck you'
'You are too ugly for me'
'Snotty fat cow'
or my favourite
'I'm desperate so I thought you'd do'
I've had all the above which is why I now name and shame. Ok, it may be a bit cruel but why should I have to waste my time trying to figure out who's genuine when the chancers/idiots don't bother to read the rules of the chat room first?[/b]
[quote]So, tip number two - use chat to get to know the people on here, not to have a half hearted shufty at the talent on offer and decide that youre too good for them - you aint, sweetheart [/quote]
[b]Why should we not have a 'shufty' at the talent first, before speaking to them? Surely you look before getting their hopes up, because if you are looking for totally different things, if they are too far away or if they are total munters, its better too look first and make it perfectly clear that you are not interested. If we lead blokes on, we are accused of being biatches. We are also entitled (to a point) to think we may be too good for some people. Single men are ten-a-penny on here and they out weight single women (and to a point couples) by a ratio of approx 10 to 1. (I did read that on here somewhere once) So, before you are rude to single women, they have the option to be choosy and you have no right to insult them with the statement [/quote]you aint, sweetheart[/quote][/b]
[quote]Answer your messages. Yup yup, single femmes and couple with a particularly attractive female get LOTS of messages, buckets of them in some cases, does this mean you should just ignore and delete them? [/quote]
[b]No where on this site does it say that anyone HAS to reply to ANY message. Some people choose to reply, some don't. That is THEIR choice, not yours. Personally, I answer about 50% of mine. If someone hasn't bothered to read my profile/advert and it is blatantly obvious that 'its never gonna happen,' then why should I answer? If they have obviously written on the basis of my photos then the do not deserve an answer[/b]
[quote]Think about this, how do you know some guy didnt have to sit back and really think about what he was going to put, when he saw your pics, read your profile and decided that he liked you and wanted to see if he could get a bit closer? Do you not think he may at least be worth a 'no thanks youre not what Im looking for', or would you rather not give a shit and just delete his message along with the one which said 'fukin hel sweethart u got a hot ass can I fuk it holla back ya heard? Ok so if you do get one like THAT then by all means you should delete it without a seconds thought but if a guy seems even slightly genuine or has made some kind of effort then it wont kill you to make one back[/quote]
[b]Let me advise you True that unfortunately, when you reply politely to a message saying 'thanks but no thanks' you tend to generally get some kind of message back. The reply message is generally rude, obnoxious and sometimes malicious. I personally have had replies along the lines of,
'Well fuck you, stupid bitch'
'You are too fat to fuck anyway'
'I'm desperate to fuck an old woman but you may be too old'
etc....
I may not appear polite but in all honesty, I've given up trying to laugh through the insults and the verbal bullying that I've gotten on here after saying No[/b]
[quote]So tip three, make an effort with your messages, be discerning. If you find yourself with 30 or more, dont delete them, just read a few now and read the rest some other time[/quote]
[b]Once again, you have no right to tell people what to do with their messages. If this site said that all messages HAD to be replied to, then I think there would be far less people on here. Its up to the woman/couple whether or not they want to reply, not you.[/b]
[quote]The final tip is just to sum up the other three. You hopefully now know what this site is about, and probably knew before you parted with your hard earned and joined up. This site has thousands of members, comprised of people from all catagories who are horny, lonely, oversexed, curious, bored, confused, arseholes or gems waiting to be unearthed. Get to know people on here, dont be so quick to judge others and above all else make an effort, and you might just uncover a few guys who can really give you what you need...because theyre the reason you joined, didnt you...? x[/quote]
[b]Most women/couples do not want the lonely, bored, confused or arseholes that you state are on here. What they want is friends, fuck buddies and people that will RESPECT their boundaries. Unfortunatly, most single men do get tarred with the same 'you are a feckwit' tag because a vast number of single (and couples) on here are complete feckwits. Myself and Jason, in the last 3 months have encountered, liars, marrieds, confused, bored, impotent singles and obnoxious, vile, malicious and confused couples. We have been let down, disappointed, used and stalked. You give me one good reason why I, and so many others should not be cynical. We can always 'mellow' with people as we get to know them. It's far easier to say sorry for being a miserable old bat than it is to put up with the constant disappointments that a large majority of the swinging population tends to throw at those of us who are genuine.[/b]
So, in conclusion, this thread is your own personal opinion of how you would like this site to treat you. Unfortunately this is real life. Not fantasy land. Every single person on here has there own take on swinging, sex and life and thats what makes it such an interesting place to be. A melting pot of different cultures, intelligence levels, hormonal levels and politeness levels. If we were all the same, it would be very boring.
However, as much as I respect your right to your own opinion, it is possibly time that you stopped trying to force said opinions down everyone else's throat. I for one find everything you have said completely offensive to single women on this site and if we take your thread as a generality, offensive to couples.
p.s. Forgive the crap spellings, missed punctuations etc but its nearly midnight, my fingers now hurt and I'm slightly knackered!