A partridge in a pear tree; know what am I meant to do with that?
Perhaps I will plant the tree and see if it fruits in the new year.
Two calling birds;
I always considered that a rather demeaning term, but if they are calling who cares what their names are.
Five gold rings.
Just the one, thank you - I'm not that well endowed, and only one will fit around the base of my manhood. Anyway, the menagerie of turtle doves and calling birds are making a mess of my living room - my carpet is covered in bird shit. What a way to spend Christmas............